The Top

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By shit_fer_luck - 16/12/2014 16:35 - United States - West Lafayette

Today, someone backed straight into my car as I was hunting for a parking spot. I just got my car back from the body shop after a hit-and-run. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 642

You deserved it 2 540

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 23:36 - United States

Today, I saw a group of attractive guys at the mall. One of them looked exactly like a friend, so I decided to take a picture. Trying to be discreet, I put my phone up to my ear as if I was making a phone call, and pressed the capture button. The flash went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 529

You deserved it 46 873

By Username - 12/01/2010 04:03 - France

Today, I was nervous as hell for my driving test. The instructor told me to drive a straight line in reverse. I forgot to put the car in reverse from drive and drove straight into a parked vehicle. Which happened to be owned by the instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 055

You deserved it 28 927

Netfliiiiiiiiix

By Anonymous - 07/03/2023 20:00

Today, I binge-watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting and now I'm not sure what day it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 800

Oh hell no

By Anonymous - 27/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I was in the "getting to know you" phase of dating a guy I recently met. We were talking about our families and I mentioned my dad died when I was young. He blurted out, “So, we get to have some of that kinky daddy issue sex then, huh?” I’m not sure if he was joking or not but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 133

Thanks, I hate it

By I'm Trading Up For A Dog - 14/12/2014 20:28 - Finland - Pori

Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 694

You deserved it 6 256

Bruvophobia

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 22:35 - United States - Cypress

Today, my mom mentioned how she loves a certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 647

You deserved it 20 500

By joser6969 - 29/10/2011 14:07 - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 981

You deserved it 11 961

By Gentleman - 11/01/2010 05:19 - United States

Today, I was very sick with a stomach virus, so I went to the only doctor's office open on Sundays. Even though I was feeling like a pile of shit, I waited for a woman who was walking in behind me to hold the door open for her. She was the last patient they could take for the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 266

You deserved it 3 247

By Zit-Blues - 04/01/2010 13:50 - United States

Today, I had a large pimple on my temple. I decided to try the whole "put toothpaste on the zit to make it dry up" technique that all the magazines say to do. Not only is my pimple still there, but the toothpaste irritated my skin and my already large pimple now appears three times bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 099

You deserved it 8 070

Broken healthcare

By ittybittyannie - 07/01/2022 16:59 - Australia - Spring Hill

Today, I have a severe infection. The last doctor I saw was in the ER and he gave me antibiotics ineffective against what I have, and sent me home. The doctor before that gave me a dose of antibiotics you’d give a toddler, so they didn’t work either. It has spread to my kidneys and I should’ve been admitted to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 113

Love is love

By Anonymous - 29/07/2024 16:00 - South Africa - Houghton Estate

Today, my online friend confessed his feelings towards me but I just played it down, and made a joke, then acted like nothing happened. Mind you, I actually like him back but I'm afraid of how far away we are from each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 775

Relaxed and chill

By Anonymous - 19/02/2026 22:00

Today, my husband walked in, lit a cigarette, burped, farted, opened two beers at once, then sat down in his armchair in his boxers to watch anime. My three best friends sat on the sofa thought it was hilarious while I was mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 110

Forever alone

By mstar - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized how lonely I am when I got excited over receiving my daily weather update from the Weather Channel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 082

You deserved it 2 909

Bad mindset

By Anonymous - 10/12/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, I went to a strip club and got a dance from a 19-year-old who was clearly not into me. I left and got into my car, and parked on a busy street. For some reason, the desire to do something pathetic was coursing through my veins, and so… I jerked off right there in my car. I think I was trying to get caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 2 327

On the down low

By Anonymous - 31/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, during a long flight, I tried to discreetly pass gas. Instead, I misjudged the pressure and ended up making a loud noise that everyone around me seemingly heard. To make matters worse, the flight attendant asked if everything was OK. Now I’m probably remembered as "Farts on a plane." FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 498

Take the L

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 00:00

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As I was leaving, the receptionist told me to "have a nice day" and I replied, "You too, love you!" then I went back home and roasted in the embarrassment for an hour or two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 229

Rock and a hard place

By Mo. - 03/10/2020 07:13 - United States

Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 198

Drama Llama

By Anonymous - 16/01/2022 08:01 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I discovered that my supposed 'friend' was spreading rumours about me and my other friends. We confronted her, but then she started crying and playing the victim so everyone would feel sorry for her, then spread more rumours. My friends and I have done nothing to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 177

You deserved it 154

Commited

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 00:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask out my crush, only to find out that they're already in a committed relationship with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 161

Never enough

By Hyeg - 03/03/2026 03:00

Today, I came home and asked my wife if she wanted to get eaten out. She just glared at me. Last week, she said all I had to do to make her want sex was asking if she wanted to get eaten out. It's been months since we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 83

Depends which one

By nabru - 14/01/2022 14:01 - Brazil - Itapema

Today, I woke up at 4 a.m. to study and do homework, then worked for 8 hours, then went to the gym, and finally went home to study even more. Then I realized I'll never make as much money or be as cool as a YouTube celebrity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 313

Don't feed the animals

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 14:00

Today, I took my kids to the petting zoo and my toddler decided to feed the goats her entire bag of popcorn. The goats swarmed her and stole her shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 554

By Anonymous - 23/08/2013 14:29 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 644

You deserved it 12 222

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 19/01/2022 02:01

Today, there's a food thief in our office who manages to steal from the fridge without being caught, and everyone keeps blaming me, probably because I’m the fattest. I have a gastric band and can only eat a few mouthfuls before being full, but still people think I’m stealing entire bags of food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 176

Off his **** on placebos

By being this dumb should hurt - 18/03/2023 02:00 - United States

Today, I had to stop my son from climbing out the window, slithering on the stairs like a snake, and attempting to call 911 to help bring him down from his “bad trip”. What caused all this? His older brother convinced him the dried mushrooms in the kitchen were ‘shrooms and the idiot beloved him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 167

Fur suit

By Anonymous - 11/08/2024 14:00 - Sweden - Harplinge

Today, I rushed to a job interview, but my cat rubbed against me, covering my suit in fur. I grabbed a lint roller, tripped over the cat, and knocked out a front tooth. I showed up sweaty, disheveled, and missing a tooth. I didn’t get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 130

Is that even legal?

By what a cruel man - 08/03/2026 03:00

Today, my rich ex-husband died, and left our two children $100 each, while leaving his other children seven figures. He said in his will that it was his "revenge" for my infidelity. Now my kids won't talk to me. How cruel can you be, holding on to a grudge and punishing your own blood for it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 833

By wow kid just leave me alone - 15/09/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 684

You deserved it 3 720

By sleepless - 20/06/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep, my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 073

You deserved it 2 914

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The Top

Today, I came home from a business trip and was greeted by a foul smell. I soon found out my husband accidentally let the milk go bad by leaving it out all day, then tried to solve the problem by "balancing the temperatures" by putting it in the freezer. Oh honey, no. Just no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 740

You deserved it 1 960

Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of my local groceries store for employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicapped, she's also the owner's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 673

You deserved it 32 824

Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 316

You deserved it 38 848

Today, I'm flying out of the country in a few hours. A plane from the same airline just crashed into the Hudson River and is now floating in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 164

You deserved it 2 707

Today, after my parent's forgot my 16th birthday, then rescheduled for two weeks later and forgot, fast forward to my 36th. My father, my husband, and my teen kids all forgot. I was told to relax and that they would make a cake, etc. No cake was made. Mom got me a food gift that I'm allergic to. It's been a few days. Forgotten again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 138

Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 1 040