The Top

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I'm an asshole

By Harj - 27/11/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Edgware

Today, after filling fuel in my car, I drove off. The guy behind me left almost at the time. He was behind me, beeping his horn and flashing his lights. I pulled up alongside him at the lights and rolled down the window to ask him what the fuck his problem was. He promptly proceeded to tell me that my fuel cap was still open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 727

By Anonymous - 29/10/2010 03:36 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 201

You deserved it 2 929

Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I came home after spending two days in the hospital for suicidal ideation and found a summons for jury duty in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 158

Trashy

By JD. - 31/01/2021 23:01

Today, the office I clean as a janitor left some candies with a note saying, "Take as many as you like." I was flattered and felt like I was finally being recognized for my years of hard work. Later, I found the same candy with a single bite taken out of it in the trash, along with the rest they'd spat out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 134

Restraining order time

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 16:00

Today, my abusive ex-boyfriend yet again decided to eat at the restaurant I work at. It’s traumatizing to me, and I think that’s why he does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 179

Dad of the day

By Anonymous - 05/07/2023 00:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad is disappointed in me because I came to him for advice on how I should tell my girlfriend I don’t feel ready for sex yet. He just looked at me, shook his head, and walked away. Later he sent my mom to ask me if I’m gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 459

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 346

You deserved it 5 082

On the fence

By fuckyouverymuch - 13/06/2013 10:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 024

You deserved it 26 806

By rinala - 01/07/2012 07:07

Today, my boyfriend decided to start an argument and storm off the train we were on. Two stops later, ticket inspectors hopped on the train. He had our tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 837

You deserved it 3 237

Modern art

By Anonymous - 04/12/2024 09:00 - Canada

Today, I set up my phone to take a time-lapse video of the sunset. When I checked the footage later, all I saw was me running back and forth because I’d forgotten my keys and wallet multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 489

Thanks, but…

By howtragic - 17/08/2011 12:13 - Australia

Today, my husband wrote all these wonderful romantic messages to me via Facebook, proclaiming his love to me in front of all my friends and family. Too bad he hasn't spoken to me in "real life" for almost 3 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 648

You deserved it 3 681

Too close to home

By WonderWall09 - 08/05/2009 16:23 - United States

Today, I had a terrible dream where my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex. I woke up almost crying and called him just to tell him how much he means to me. Turns out my dream gave him that little extra push he needed to confess he's been cheating on me. With his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 890

You deserved it 4 803

Wakey wakey

By zzzzzz - 30/01/2021 07:59

Today, my boyfriend had an appointment he had to wait months for, after he finally agreed to try to figure out what's making him so tired all the time. He slept through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 110

Chance encounter of the morning

By Gale - 06/12/2024 15:00 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I tried to get a picture of a cute cat while on my morning walk. The cat didn't run away scared, it was even as if he knew it was "strike a pose" time. Then, out of nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my breakfast bagel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 258

Trickster

By Anonymous - 14/07/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, at an annual summer family event, I showed my family a magic trick I'd practiced for weeks. The grand finale involved making a coin disappear. Instead, I launched it into my uncle's soup. He digged it out with his spoon, then looked at me and asked if it was for keeps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 190

Nice

By sadgirl - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Conway

Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 707

You deserved it 4 442

By whoslade - 28/06/2012 17:36 - United States

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 939

You deserved it 4 594

Too soon?

By jobless - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a phone interview with my potential new boss. I was getting excited about the prospects of landing a great job. I had nailed every question the man asked me and right after he told me he'll call me tomorrow if he wants me to come in I sweetly said, "Talk to you tomorrow! Love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 510

You deserved it 58 542

Weird logic

By can’t go vegan - 07/07/2023 03:00

Today, I actually overheard the sentence, “People who can’t go vegan for medical reasons should die gracefully rather than eat an animal.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 146

Cute couple

By Anonymous - 09/12/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 279

From beyond

By hearingthings - 26/06/2012 02:59 - Australia - Perth

Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 259

You deserved it 6 534

My pleasure, mom!

By FortuneFaded - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, it's my mother's birthday so I took her out to lunch. On the way there, we had a car accident. It was my fault. For my mother's birthday I gave her 3 broken ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 001

You deserved it 19 267

It's the monstaaaaah

By Anonymous - 02/02/2021 21:30

Today, a 4 year-old saw me and started crying and screaming like heck. I mean, I knew that I didn't look good, but this is too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 103

Thanks dude!

By Megan - 11/07/2023 12:00

Today, my car broke down at a red light. A man pulled up next to me and yelled at me to get out of the fast lane. I thought he was gonna offer help, as I was a young woman on her own, but he just yelled at me and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 250

The writing's on the wall

By Anonymous - 14/12/2024 03:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my wife told me I’m not worth the trouble. She’d rather overextend herself for complete strangers than spend any time with me. I should've seen this coming. Even before we got married, her favourite line was, “You already had children with someone else, we’ll never be a family.” I tried for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 467

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 22:22 - United States

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 369

You deserved it 3 328

Republicans scrap child marriage bans

By what year is this?! - 27/03/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out my 17 year-old cousin is getting married. My hyper religious family swears my concerns are just “masking” my jealousy. Yeah sorry for thinking such a young person, who is still a child, should have her own life before making such a huge decision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 184

My legacy

By ManyRegrets - 15/07/2023 03:00 - United States - Bloomsburg

Today, I found out that the one who got away just had a baby, and named it after me. My current longtime girlfriend and I already decided not to have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 748

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 184

You deserved it 4 669

By TuteSweet - 12/08/2011 06:17 - United States

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 575

You deserved it 4 814

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The Top

Today, my dad stood by and nodded in agreement as my sister told me that my clinical depression is "getting REALLY old." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 553

You deserved it 4 033

Today, I saw a news story about how wearing flip-flops is dangerous. I scoffed at the ridiculous study and went about my business. Three hours later I accidentally ripped off my toenail. While wearing flip-flops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 027

You deserved it 22 930

Today, my brother decided deodorant causes cancer. He goes to the gym every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 971

You deserved it 2 519

Today, my fiancé told me it was a mistake to propose to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 777

You deserved it 5 447

Today, a woman I’d never met came to my door asking if my kids were ready to go. Obviously I refused to send my kids with a stranger. Apparently she’s my ex's new girlfriend and "has his permission" to come get my kids. Now he’s threatening to take me to court for violating the visitation order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 643

You deserved it 195

Today, my girlfriend chose to hate-stalk her ex-best friend's social media, then angrily rant to me for over an hour about what she saw. This happens three or four times a week. They last spoke over a decade ago. The last time I suggested therapy, she didn't speak to me for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 252