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O'Reilly

By still can’t get any - 04/04/2022 06:00

Today, I’m convinced my son has some sort of radar. Literally every time my partner and I try to have sex, he wakes up and interrupts us. At first I thought it was a coincidence, but the fact that it’s happened at 12am, 12pm, 6am and 3pm tells me otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 246

Suffer little chives

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 23:01 - Germany - Zittau

Today, I found out where the puddle in the basement came from. I thought the freezer was broken, but no. My mom is running what can only be called a death camp for vegetables in there. She buys them, then forgets about them until they turn liquid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 77

Devious

By Chrislj - 07/06/2023 10:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my manipulative mother got upset and started ignoring me. All because she lectured me about doing too much for other people, then proceeded to tell me all her problems, and I actually took her advice. Other people's problems are not my responsibility to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 136

FML's Video Test

By Louis - 24/03/2017 23:03 - France - Le Mans

So, can you figure out what happens next?

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 197

Skittish

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 93

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 07:08 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 584

You deserved it 5 377

Lovesick

By oops - 18/05/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 349

You deserved it 18 183

Viewer discretion advised

By Jane - 09/11/2024 00:00 - United States - Encino

Today, I was super bored in health class so I decided to watch Invader Zim on my computer. I never made sure my headphones were connected. so the whole class turned and stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 704

By Wingman527 - 15/09/2014 21:39 - United States - Salida

Today, I was checking out of a hotel when I saw some complementary mints. They weren't mints. They were glass beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 510

You deserved it 11 777

Wingman527 tells us more.

Wingman527 22

Tuesday 16 September 2014 20:03

You can actually, it's called school.

By Anonymous - 29/08/2011 13:05 - United States

Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 330

You deserved it 41 389

By makeitstop - 02/12/2009 07:14 - Canada

Today, at work, I was forced to listen to the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers Christmas album on repeat for 8 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 584

You deserved it 4 254

Skinny love

By maryann - 13/01/2021 08:01

Today, despite begging my parents to get food other than diet and weight loss stuff, they refused. I'm bullied for being skinny on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 245

Thanks for sharing

By why ma? - 22/04/2022 00:01 - United States

Today, my mom went through my drawers and found some antibiotics from Planned Parenthood. She immediately flew into a rage and told my whole family, my aunts, and her church that I was a “loose woman with a horrible disease.” The antibiotics were to treat bacterial vaginosis, not an STD at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 142

An accident?

By Clayton - 12/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because my ex tells every girl I go out with that I cheated on her. She DMs them screenshots of what I did. I know I’m no saint, but all that was 6 months ago, and it was an accident. I can’t change the past, but I can be sorry for what I did. I just can’t win in this situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 1 277

Maternity leave

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 04:00

Today, we were so desperate to be parents, we've had IVF twice until our son was born. I was not ready for just how much I would hate him. I physically detest my son. I didn’t want to hold him when he was born, he makes my skin crawl when I breastfeed and I barely look at him. Messed up, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 650

NHS for all

By Toothache - 19/06/2023 00:02

Today, during a routine visit to the dentist, she advised me to get root canal treatment done, to avoid any future pain. As we are traveling abroad where we won't have insurance, my husband is forcing me to get RCT within four days. I'm in so so much pain, life is hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 157

By SymmetricalPizzaFace - 07/09/2014 04:52 - United States - Westminster

Today, my hormones decided to make my pimples appear symmetrically on my face around my nose and mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 722

You deserved it 2 959

By Anonymous - 26/08/2011 04:55 - United States

Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 675

You deserved it 8 652

Damned if you do…

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up early to do the dishes and clean up, after having people over yesterday. Now my wife is mad at me because I didn't stay in bed with her longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 112

You know, what's his face?

By Randy - 19/11/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I was talking with a coworker about movie actors. I was trying to remember Forest Whitaker’s name and I blurted out, “the droopy-eyed King of Scotland.” Boy, did I get some looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 289

Latergram

By Anonymous - 21/06/2023 10:00

Today, I made it halfway through saying "Happy Father's Day" before he interrupted to send me to do an unimportant chore. When I finished, he’d opened the beer I'd bought him, despite it being 7:30am, but he was convinced it was a bribe because I wanted something from him. I don’t know why I bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 111

By MusicLover18 - 03/09/2014 23:35 - Canada - Leduc

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 616

You deserved it 4 251

By getyourownbike - 12/05/2009 23:11 - United States

Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 829

You deserved it 12 929

Fur babies

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend of 7 years told me he isn’t sure if he wants to marry me, despite us talking for years about it. He’s worried about what will happen to our cats if we were to ever get divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 177

Technology hate humans

By Helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp - 25/06/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I have a keyboard that randomly jams. If it happens while I'm typing, it will spam said letter for an extended period of time, and nothing I can do makes it stop. It can happen to any key, even the spacebar. It also happens often enough that it goes from mildly convenient to really fucking annoying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 329

Quiet night in

By 2 time momma - 23/01/2021 22:58 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, as a stressed NHS nurse, I tried to take a relaxing bath, except I dropped my book in the water, my candle set my hair on fire, I slipped getting out and may have broken my finger. The noise woke up my two kids, so I had to start their bedtime routine over again, and I got bath salt crystals in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 392

You deserved it 229

Not that into you

By Anonymous - 27/06/2023 12:00

Today, my girlfriend won’t give me oral because she doesn't like pubes, so I trimmed them; she refused again because they felt prickly, so I waxed them. Now she says I look like a little boy. If she doesn’t want to suck cock, why won’t she just say so instead of hinting she might if I shaved? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 421

Classic

By scotchfaster - 26/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I started seeing a new therapist and told him everything that was going on in my life. He asked me if I was suicidal; I said no. He paused and asked me, "Why not?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 105

Blood drive

By Queasy Dave - 03/07/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried donating blood for the first time because my company was hosting a blood drive. Right after telling everyone I wasn't afraid of needles, I fainted before they could even use one. I woke up surrounded by phlebotomists offering me juice while my coworkers whooped like I'd just scored a goal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 264

Hard place

By RohnAbheek - 21/08/2011 17:36 - India

Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a Viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 234

You deserved it 47 423

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The Top

Today, my mother felt the need to remind me not to fall in love with a fictional character. After laughing and reassuring her that I knew the difference between fiction and reality, she replied, "You know, honey, sometimes I'm not so sure." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 485

You deserved it 3 879

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 239

You deserved it 3 026

Today, I was at the gym and I saw a really cute guy working out nearby. I tried to get his attention by taking off my shirt and smiling at him. When he walked over to me, instead of asking for my number, he just said "Can you please put that back on? Thanks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 990

You deserved it 57 828

Today, I have an autoimmune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 411

You deserved it 2 772

Today, I went downstairs to complain to my landlady that there was no water when I was trying to wash my hair. To which she replied, "No, of course there is water, it's just all going into my swimming pool." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 739

You deserved it 116

Today, I found out that my cross-dressing father and my recently deceased mother were having a much more "open" relationship then they'd let on, when the sheriff's department finally gave me mom's phone back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 186