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By Woops - 27/08/2014 22:57 - United States - Secaucus

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 825

You deserved it 47 324

Nair do well

By muffin - 10/05/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, I wanted to look really good for my date. I was a little self-conscious, so I decided to use Nair on my upper lip just in case I had a female mustache. Unfortunately, it turns out I'm allergic to Nair. Now I DO have a mustache. A rash mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 025

You deserved it 16 624

Compassionate management

By Dean Roberts - 01/02/2021 20:01 - United States - Cedar Falls

Today, my manager said it was my choice to have surgery on my arm and that I shouldn't complain, everyone goes through pain. She's right, but I was born with a birth defect in my wrist. The surgery was going to happen sooner or later, I didn't want to be born this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 14:45 - Norway

Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 975

You deserved it 7 533

Red flag

By Anonymous - 07/12/2024 20:00 - United States - Blacksburg

Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 510

Run home

By Anonymous - 12/06/2013 14:56 - United States

Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 134

You deserved it 6 202

By robthebuilder - 26/10/2010 06:35 - Canada

Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 840

You deserved it 2 471

How could you forget?

By James - 31/01/2021 11:01

Today, I realised that my birthday was yesterday. I was so busy with my painting work that I completely forgot. I realised when I got messages from friends in the USA, wishing me a happy birthday. Seriously timezones? FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 307

Brainwashing

By stuck - 11/05/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, due to some serious health and financial issues, I literally have no choice but to have my mom watch my kids. She's turned my son into the most spoiled insufferable brat, I can’t stand it. Then I feel like I’m punishing him at home for what his grandmother enforces in hers. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 202

I don't know, leave me alone

By Anonymous - 07/07/2023 10:00 - United States - Warren

Today, my mom and dad went off somewhere for some alone time together. My mom had apparently turned her phone off and my dad left his at home. In that span of time, my brother had accidentally locked himself out of his house, and my sister was also trying to get a hold of them, and now are asking me where they're at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 174

By not_relaxed - 25/10/2010 04:22 - United States

Today, I returned from vacation. Because of rain, I spent 3 days sitting in a hotel room, watching a TV with bad reception. I'm now less relaxed that if I'd have just stayed home, because that wouldn't have cost me $500, and my TV has more than 15 channels. So much for my first vacation in 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 224

You deserved it 5 363

Eco-friendly

By Anonymous - 31/01/2021 02:01

Today, my colleague heated 1,5 liters of water, waited visibly impatient the several minutes it took to boil, made himself one cup of tea, then poured the rest down the drain. Maximum amount of time and energy wasted in one go? Check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 122

Tight

By Pudgy - 11/04/2022 10:01

Today, I tried on a dress for prom. It took a while to zip, but I insisted it'd fit. I asked for help. When the lady finally managed to zip all the way, the dress completely ripped at the seams. Not only did I have to pay $169 for it, but the lady told me, “We have more dresses in the plus-sized section!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 1 838

Socialite

By Jason - 22/11/2009 15:11 - United States

Today, I was finally able to hang out with a girl I really liked at a party. We had a great time and spent hours together. When I leaned in for a kiss at the end of the night, she stopped me and said , "You're a great guy, but we can't go out because you'd be bad for my social reputation." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 182

You deserved it 3 852

Yada yada yada

By Anonymous - 04/02/2021 21:30

Today, after almost a year of no steady work, I struggled to get anything done once my 7-months pregnant girlfriend woke up at noon. She wanted to talk the whole time, and eventually broke down crying because of her relationship with her mother. I spent the the day consoling her. No wonder I can't get any work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 809

Skincare routine

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 12:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's dick is broken. We used to have an amazing sex life but because he won't take care of his jock itch, and his skin keeps cracking every time there's any pulling on his junk, I haven't really been laid in almost a year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276

You deserved it 301

Back to square one

By Anonymous - 10/05/2022 10:00

Today, I finally got the cast off my leg after being unable to walk for 6 weeks, watching daytime TV or playing my husband's Xbox all day. The second the plaster came off, I tried to stand up, tripped over the doctor's foot and broke the apparently still not fully healed leg again in the same spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 254

Worthless

By SrslyD00d - 11/07/2023 10:00

Spicy

Today, my long-distance boyfriend of three and a half years told me he was leaving me for a girl he met at his Uni, because, “I’m tired of jerking off all the time and I need intimacy.” He’s only known her for two months. So the three and a half years together meant nothing to him then? FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 523

Kids are hard work

By Gemma - 07/02/2021 02:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised my boyfriend is only nice to my son to make me happy. Turns out he hates children and will only do the minimum interaction with my 4-year-old son he can get away with, until he can fabricate an excuse to leave the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 459

By Anonymous - 14/08/2014 19:50 - United States - Powell

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 907

You deserved it 9 177

By Justme - 05/06/2013 05:02 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 692

You deserved it 3 878

Whatcha doin' up there?

By That1FamousWRX - 07/02/2021 11:01 - United States

Today, I went to pull a nose hair out, only to end up pulling a spider out by its legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 302

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 03/06/2013 20:55 - France - M?rignac

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 401

You deserved it 5 606

By donny31459 - 10/08/2011 14:44 - United States

Today, I got a ticket from a cop for not riding my bike in the bike lane. I wasn't riding in the bike lane because I was avoiding construction work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 123

You deserved it 3 974

Where there's a will…

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 05:01

Today, as a final effort to get me to lose weight, my recently deceased father left me $25,000 on his will, which is only to be released to me once I weigh 150 pounds. No exceptions. I'm about to lose my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 543

Looney tunes

By It does grow on trees - 21/12/2024 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I spotted a $20 bill on the ground. As I bent down to pick it up, the wind blew it away. I ended up running after it like a cartoon character, only to watch it get stuck up a tree. I did consider climbing up said tree, but with my luck I would've fallen off and had to pay 100 times more in hospital bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 123

Another birthday ruined

By Michael - 13/02/2021 00:30 - Australia - Southport

Today, my girlfriend of one year broke up with me because I started having PTSD induced night terrors. On my birthday as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 94

By jacky tu - 16/10/2010 03:06 - United States

Today, I got grounded because I didn't go to my dog's birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 105

You deserved it 7 697

Manchild

By lilshoobydoo14 - 15/10/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, I met a guy that I liked. We really hit it off, that is until his parents walked by and he started begging them, down on his hands and knees, to buy him a new video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 539

You deserved it 4 344

By 21yearoldvirgin - 01/05/2009 09:46 - United States

Today, I paid 11 dollars to see the new Wolverine movie. I arrived an hour early and waited patiently for the movie to start. 3 minutes before it began, a drunk guy stumbled in and took the last empty seat in the theater... next to me. He talked to me the whole movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 215

You deserved it 8 330

21yearoldvirgin tells us more.

21yearoldvirgin 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 2:56

Just to clarify/answer all the questions, I did go with friends, I was on the end of the line of friends. And I was one of the last to show up, people got there 2 hours early. And I do live in CA. Movies are expensive. Like others said though, I don't think it ruined my life, it was just an unlucky occurrence. And yes he did smell lol. And not that it matters, but I'm a girl. And a wimp. ;)

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The Top

The Top

Today, I informed my family of my plans to divorce my wife after catching her cheating on me twice. They bitched me out because I will not be able to survive financially or emotionally without her support. I'm a doctor. She's been unemployed for 2 straight years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 113

You deserved it 2 699

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 001

You deserved it 47 010

Today, I got home to find my house trashed, my TV, PlayStation, and laptop smashed, all my clothes burning in the backyard, and all my food gone. Turns out my girlfriend did this after going through my phone and finding a contact named "Kristi". Kristi is my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 867

You deserved it 483

Today, right after I finished writing a very important paper and saved it to my hard drive, my barely 2-year-old Macbook decided to completely stop functioning. I went to the Apple store and even they can't get it to turn on. That's $1500 down the drain along with my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 834

You deserved it 489

Today, a little girl asked me if I was wearing a toupee. It's my real hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 165

Today, I was writing a research paper for my psych class and read that people who have attempted suicide are seven times more likely to die from heart disease at a young age. I had a sudden chest pain, and I’ve had four suicide attempts between age 9 and 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 269