Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML
Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, my doorbell rang while I was still in bed. I leapt out and immediately got a severe cramp in one leg, then, staggering around trying to throw some clothes on, I scraped the other leg badly enough to draw blood. When I got to the door there was nobody there, just a parcel on the doorstep. FML
Today, I went to get a box of cereal and I knocked over a bottle of olive oil. It took me about half an hour to clean up. When I finally finished, I found out the box of cereal was empty. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
The laceration I can fix. The stupid, not so much.
Andrew123123 9
Examine before you take action.
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Comments (76)
Andrew123123 9
Examine before you take action.
annaliesalayoshi 13
yeah, especially since there has been the easy open tabs for the past few years now
reginal 9
Wow your parents didn't teach you shit
PizzaRollsss 5
Tobi is obito uchiha.
saransh 3
Wow! Read instructions always!
Khariau 8
Instructions often are boring and make you feel like a morron...
EarthDragon 4
Oh the irony...
youjustmademelol 4
Do soda boxes have instructions? I so, I don't know a single person who would read them..
Marrach 7
Are you telling me you happen to read the directions of everything you buy? If you do, you must be miserable.
Marrach 7
"Dangers/Warnings" Soda Cans may burst depending on location and conditions. Avoid being boxed by this object Top of can may often be pointy Don't touch the rim as you will get cut Use easy tab ...I don't see any in reality but if they didn't include it, there's obviously a reason.
whatcase 16
How can you be so eager to open a box f beverages? Look at the box before you get a knife.
tacojauns 45
Why do u even need a knife its VERY thin Cardboard
Meettitan 14
I needed my machete to get through my box of..... wait OP is an idiot.
bones_17 5
Don't worry op, The thing about lieing is you can make up what ever story you want too, when someone asks how you cut your hand.
whatcase 16
Your grammar gave me eye cancer.
bones_17 5
Want to be my friend noor, I'm very lonely
bones_17 5
Does this mean we will do it together and be blood brothers!!!!!!'n
musicluvr2000 11
18....okay....just.....okay.
bones_17 5
Sirin is my friend that's why--- success!!
ASD_K 11
9 - Whatever you're using to browse this app/website gave me iCancer.
DjeePee 25
Natural selection tried to strike again.
DespairFaction 11
Anything under 10 stitches is not worth going to ER. Use tape to make butterfly stitches.
TheDrifter 24
Calm down there Michael Meyers. There are plenty of safe ways to get to the soda without getting all stabby.
stormchaser24 24
Wow, YDI. Examine the box next time.
DocBastard 40
The laceration I can fix. The stupid, not so much.
emeraldisle 30
Have you not opened a box of soda recently? They're all easy to open.
outoftown 27
#14, Baking soda box is harder, but the back of a spoon works
emeraldisle 30
I obviously wasn't talking about baking soda.
kimg0885 23
Always cut AWAY from yourself. Ahhh, I remember my first cola, except I didn't end up in the hospital! Just be happy doc bastard wasn't your doctor.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Your comment confused the hell out of me. Were you trying to make a Step Brothers reference or do you actually remember your first cola?