Today, it's my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises behind the front door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights… as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and I was going over to my friend's house for dinner. When I walked in, everyone yelled, "Surprise!" and then turned on the lights. When my friend looked over at me, she said, "Wrong person guys, turn off the lights." FML
Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing, "Happy Birthday." FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I was throwing a surprise birthday party for my friend. As we all hid in the dark waiting for him to arrive, I unexpectedly sneezed so loudly that I scared everyone, and they jumped out before he had even finished unlocking the front door. FML
Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML
Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me, so when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML
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Top comments
kevinn95 0
Ohhh no they stole ur surprise party?
ddddddddg 9
That's awful! I'm so sorry op! Happy birthday (:
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Comments (97)
ddddddddg 9
That's awful! I'm so sorry op! Happy birthday (:
AwkwardPartyBear 24
I agree, FYL op. I hope your birthday will get better.
iNewKid 20
That's just cruel. ****** up world we live in. Go and make money yourself en keep your hands off other people's stuff.
LookOnBrightSide 12
I hope OP's birthday present will be a house restoration, like ones from those TV shows. Or maybe OP's friends could pitch in to remodel his house after everything was stolen, like new furniture. I'm sorry to hear that OP. FYL. I hope something great compensates for this on your birthday.
gojira666 7
SURPRISE!!
onlychildFTW 34
That really sucks OP. Sorry to hear that. Being robbed is bad enough. Let alone in your birthday.
Temi25 6
Happy birthday op
nado13579 12
Aww that sucks. :/ But happy birthday, I hope your day got better! :)
Mooish 18
Well happy fucken birthday.
juicypu55y 0
Well said
nadyy14 8
I seriously hope you have an amazing birthday, despite the ass**les who robbed you
French_Toast_fml 3
32- if you're only going to leave out 2 letters, you may as well write the whole word.
TheGreatAlexande 12
I think he didn't on purpose, assless, as in I'd have mounted their asses on the wall above my fireplace.
boydeee01 7
If you're going to censor it, then maybe you should censor the "ass" part.
ss_20_xx 14
Looks like you got your surprise. =| Happy birthday though, hope your friends there make you feel better after this.
skoob1 12
Whatever, bitch.
doubleea 3
Comment moderated? Bitch please.
Jigsaw2126 6
it's always at my birthday that i get my biggest FML moment too! anyways, happy birthday! =)
kevinn95 0
Ohhh no they stole ur surprise party?
KiddNYC1O 22
Well played.
jenalexis 0
Hahaha cute
kyliebear 15
Well honestly I wouldn't hint at a SURPRISE party, it would ruin the surprise because you would know/think you'd get one?
pbonham 22
Awww, sorry OP!!! That's an absolutely downer, I feel for you!!
ambamm135 7
Surprise! But in all seriousness I'm sorry op that really sucks :(.
br0ccoli 15
1- happy birthday 2 - wow that sucks, sorry to hear 3 - on a brighter note, things are only going up from that situation
ladyLALAA 29
Yeah hopefully OP scared them off and they didn't really get anything...
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
and then OPs dog dies. Silly, things can aaalways get worse :)
THE_A_TEEN 28
^What an obvious Debbie Downer.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
I wasn't trying to debbie down, just thought I would try to show something worse that could have happened!
bunniex1 11
24/82 you aren't being pessimistic enough! You have to say. And then she was brutally stabbed while watching her beloved dog get run over by a semi. The End
enz_fml 0
wow thats horrible
Jeffo193 13
Well, it was a surprise, if not a party...