Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Probable cause
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML
Alexa, play "Tailights Fade" by Buffalo Tom
Today, I got pulled over for a broken taillight. When I rolled down the window, the cop asked me if I was smoking crack. When I told him I didn't do drugs, he didn't believe me since he could detect a foul odor coming from my car. I'd just passed gas big time. FML
Double down
Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cigarette butt out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML
Am I being detained?
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML
Chips
Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt… into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
High performance, high risk quipping
Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time." He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
Shot
Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML
Top comments
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Congratulations, you're one of the biggest morons around here. That's quite a feat, considering the other contenders to the title. Unless you meant you were smoking 'something else' and just said tobacco out of hypocrisy, you're really stupid to think it's illegal to smoke, especially in your own car!!
WTSchool 0
You definitely deserved that one. =_=
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
WTSchool 0
You definitely deserved that one. =_=
brianjman14 23
inb4 "YDI FOR SMOKING! EWW!!! BLEGH!" OP, I'm not against smokers (since I am one), but I wouldn't smoke while driving because it is distracting. So it is your own fault, YDI.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
He did really deserve it. Not at all because of smoking, but simply because when you're so dumb that you actually think smoking tobacco in your own car is illegal, you deserve it. (Maybe not quite the full body cavity search, but at least the embarrassment of the cop laughing at the OP's stupidity...)
brianjman14 23
^agreed with that also. Forgot to mention that. Since when is it illegal to smoke in your own car? Some people may look down upon it, but it's not illegal.
silvermoonstar3 3
clearly, it wasn't tobacco and was really pot.
c8750 2
^ agreed
skittle68 0
maybe op is under 18 or something...
rallets 23
its just frowned upon, like masterbating on a plane
ZachMitch1994 0
it is if he is underage .... bet you didn't think about that did you
gamepro2112 0
nope, I've been pulled over with cig in my mouth when I was 16 and didn't get in trouble. you guys are retarded for saying smoking while driving is stupid, I do it everyday and have never gotten in a accident
Mauskau 36
66, tomorrow you will. Smoking whilst driving is gross, smoking is gross, and if you're in a car with people and smoking... you're an asshole. I've sat in a car with 5 people smoking in it before, no windows open, the only ones not smoking were me and my friend's baby sister. Never been in a car with them again.
ellamegan 0
67 thts your personal feelings towards smoking no need to lash out at people for living the way they want i really dont think smoking a cig could cus an accident, its not very distracting becuase all youre doing is lifting your hand for a quick second and its your responsibility to ask people not to smoke around you, just as smokers should use their manners and ask before they light it
MrCalves 1
Obviously 66 is the standard for stupid. If he does something and there are no negative consequences (aside from the negative consequences of smoking), then it is by no means a stupid activity.
smashgrab 0
Agreed with #20, I've noticed that the mods often replace references to illegal herbs with "cigarettes", I'm surprised at how many people don't catch this! Are the people on this site that sheltered, or that ignorant, or that stupid?
MusicLover369 4
atleast he was honest.
zkchild 0
Should of said look officer i know what it looks like but there is no tobacco in this cigarette. Its just filled with weed, he cant do anything about it since you don't have to be a certain age to smoke it. That and its better for your health anyways.
flickyourbic1223 7
#41 win!
dre_bro11 12
nope, I'm pretty sure that's illegal too :)
seoultrain 0
i hope you're not implying that you cant get cancer from smoking weed because you can
HazmatPilgrimage 0
You sir are an asstroll.
zkchild 0
I was talking about being good for the soul but since you went there check out web Md. Pot Smoking Not Linked to Cancer Even very heavy, long-term marijuana users who had smoked more than 22,000 joints over a lifetime seemed to have no greater risk than infrequent marijuana users or nonusers.
marvin_fml 0
Way more people have car crashes caused by playing with the stereo/cd player, than have crashes due to smoking. If you're going to ban smoking in cars on safety grounds, you should ban car radios first.
tiipsypiink09 0
I mean is he underage? He prolly shouda mentioned that part. if not...he's an idiot for real.
Allstarr23 1
Underage smoking isn't illegal. It is illegal to BUY them if you aren't 18, it isn't like alcohol. Bet ya didn't think of that.
obamanation85 1
rallets looks like a girl
Epiczors 0
fail.
mamamiaaa_fml 12
yes forget speeding you're stupid enough to think you can't smoke a legal substance in your car. learn your rights people.
peoplearegood 0
Dude, are you guys serious? Obviously he originally said weed. This site changes it. Sorry, though, OP, you still totally deserved it. While I love tobacco and its crazy counterpart myself, I would NEVER admit I was smoking it to a cop. Like, even if he could smell it in the car, why in the balls would he have pulled you over for it? You could have easily been smoking tobacco for all he could see. I mean, not that it matters. Most FMLs are complete bull anyways.
Jasmann 0
LOL, atleast you told the truth.
stronghand0331 17
Before or after the body cavity search?
stronghand0331 17
Would you tell him your name before or after the delightable search, my little erect friend? I think telling him after would be far more invigorating.
stronghand0331 17
Would you tell him in hopes that he will continue?
cryssycakesx3 23
just stop.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Congratulations, you're one of the biggest morons around here. That's quite a feat, considering the other contenders to the title. Unless you meant you were smoking 'something else' and just said tobacco out of hypocrisy, you're really stupid to think it's illegal to smoke, especially in your own car!!
WHAT_THA_PHUCK 0
It probably said marijuana originally, the moderators have to change it.
Kush1994 0
maybe he was underage. dumbass
surferkid212 0
it's not illegal to smoke underage...it's illegal to purchase tabacco underage or supply tobacco products to a minor... but technically speaking it's not illegal for them to smoke
truthbetoldxoxo 0
yes it is illegal to smoke underage!! you can be fined for it. you receive a ticket and if your parents don't stop you and it happens again, they can be fined and/or go to jail.
HaileyHAVOC 0
well I cant speak for every state, but for a long time it wasn't technically illegal to smoke underage in illinois. But they would take your cigarettes, however; they passed a new law (last year-ish?) and now it is illegal to posses and smoke cigarettes under the age of 18.
darkstar_trevino 0
(: thats what im sayin
evilshade 0
I really hope he gave you another ticket for smoking!!!! You are evil person
DANKshank 0
is it illegal to smoke while driving where you people are from? I'm from Texas and I don't get this unless he was smoking some pine
drewboobaloo 0
Smoking makes you evil? Damn. Looks like I am going to hell.
JessieKayGreen 13
lmao. oh woww xDD
robertandrew 5
coming from the person called evilshade...
Zmeilerr 22
"What seems to be the officer, problem?"
stronghand0331 17
Mr. Occifer... I swear to high I'm not God... Who put this in my hand??
Owl1238 1
Love it! Love everything about it!
madchipolata 0
idiot!
mariet_fml 23
Guys, use your noggins. He is probably sixteen or seventeen, making it illegal for him to have cigarettes.
Riccoshea 0
it's legal to have cigarettes just not buy them under 19
truthbetoldxoxo 0
no it's not legal to have them underage!! I don't know where you got that idea but it's illegal and you can be fined!!
berg54 0
It's a state law. PA has not a single fine for under age smoking. When I was young and dumb we'd smoke in front of our school officer to irritate him. Only fined for purchasing under age. They could confiscate but still no fine.
haileebug7 0
it's not illegal to have it underage where I live, you just can't buy it. I guess it depends on state laws.
Cinn_fml 23
Ok, firstly you should always be aware of what speed you're doing. I mean, 'well over' implies more than a few mph over the limit, which you should notice. Secondly, I don't know if smoking in a vehicle is illegal, but I can't help but think it should be. If you need to have one, pull over safely, don't introduce another distraction to your driving. It's like pulling over to take a call, it's just sensible.
armybarbie 1
So now smokers should be punished for smoking in an enclosed vehicle where it isn't bothering or hurting anyone else?
Cinn_fml 23
I meant whilst driving. I have no problem with smokers smoking in their own car, so long as it's not moving at the time.
MonkeySpeaks 4
Then I suggest you pull over everytime you want to change the radio station or the next time you want tO change CDs or look for a track on your iPod/mp3. Which, by the way, is much more of a distraction since it involves you lOoking away from the road
missrit 0
#36, changing a radio station is more of a distraction? How so? Yes you look away, BUT you also look away when smoking longer. First you need to find a cigarette, then you need to find a lighter, then you need to make sure it lights, which involves taking your hands off the wheel. Then later on, you need to take your eyes off the road again to ash it. Sounds like smoking tabacco would be more of a distraction to me
Cinn_fml 23
Actually, Monkey, I don't change radio stations once I've got going. I also don't have a stereo in the car that allows me to hook up mp3 players or anything, and I'm kinda glad for that. Again, it's less of a distraction if you don't have to faff around at all. Simple is best. Missrit, I agree, however I suppose most people get lit up before they set off, and ash it by tapping it on the open window. However I think the most dangerous bit about it is the fact that you've got something hot that you have every chance of dropping and that you have to hold it whilst you drive, which reduces the amount of hand power you have, because it alters your grip.
MonkeySpeaks 4
You don't have to look away to ash. That's silly. You are also more capable of reaching for something without looking (using sense of touch). You DO however have to physically look for a CD or look to see what station. Regardless it's not my opinion. My argument is based on actual stats.
MonkeySpeaks 4
Ok but the argument is that OPDI bc smoking causes reckless driving. But you're more likely to, say speed, when you get into a song. The whole thing is statistically the smoking accusation is moot bc it just isn't considered a distraction statistically. Someone said the radio was ok, yet its a cause
Cinn_fml 23
I did see your stats, or mention of, Monkey. I just want to point out I never said that my opinion was proven anywhere, or at least I never meant too. And like I said, I don't change things once I've got going, 'cause I know it means I have to divert my attention. In the same way that I keep an eye on my speed and don't allow myself to speed because I particularly awesome song's come on the radio or whatever. Though having said that, different things do affect different people differently. So whilst some people can listen to the radio safely I suppose some could probably smoke in the same way. Somehow, it just seems so much more dangerous to me. Especially if you've lit up en route.
jakeisawake 3
Actually, some people have to smoke in order to focus. Smoking can be a relaxer, and I'm not saying just smoking, but I have ADHD, and I have to do something while driving. I don't smoke, but I do tend to chew on toothpicks or eat something because if I don't, then my attention gets caught on other pointless things or I zone out, and then I may cause an accident. So, I don't think it should be illegal to do while driving. OP still deserves it for being a dumbass and admitting to a cop what he did wrong; you are better off acting stupid.
popcornplaya48 0
cinn you sound like a real douche.
Cinn_fml 23
Jake - That's fair enough, but it's the handling of something hot whilst driving that bothers me. In the same way that someone drinking a hot drink at the same time as driving bothers me. Maybe I'm just overly cautious with this kind of thing. Popcorn - Aw, thanks. /sarcasm. But humour me a moment, what exactly did I say that makes me a douche?
jakeisawake 3
Yeah, I can see why that can be a bit bothersome. I'm not against you or anything, just setting up a different view because I know I'm not the only one that is like this. Hence why ADHD is a well-known disorder. :P
Cinn_fml 23
Oh I don't mind different viewpoints, in fact debating things can be kinda fun sometimes. :) I was just explaining why I personally have problems with people smoking and driving at the same time.
Bobissmall 13
I was under the impression that smoking while driving is illegal in the UK anyway. But this is America, they let you run around with guns and other shit. (Stereotypes ftw)
RedPillSucks 33
popcornplaya48, why does arguing a point make someone a douche? Just because its a point you don't agree with doesn't mean you have to be a jerk about it. That's part of the problem with this society, everyone argues but no one really listens.
Texast 0
ok smoking while driving is not distracting. and secondly even if you speeding your not going to admit it to the officer. grow up and don't be such a goodie tooshoes
Barn312009 0
I bet ur a bitch to be around... damn :-/
RatRodInk 0
I say **** the law ;)
Cinn_fml 23
Bobissmall - You are right, you can get fined for it. (I might've just looked it up) Chaos - For once I think we agree, though I still think you shouldn't change settings excessively even if you can do it without looking, because it's still less attention to the road. RedPill - Exactly. Texast - I never said he should've admitted it to the officer, I said he should've been aware of his speed. Barn - Who? There's quite a few people above your post, might need to be more specific. :P RatRodInk - Well, you can try that and see how it works out for you. :P
HaileyHAVOC 0
NO! its effing cold outside and I hate going outside at school and work as it is. there is no way in hell that I'm pulling over my own damn car.
HaileyHAVOC 0
totally. I would hate to be in your car. it sounds boring as hell. I'd just sit in back and scream at the top of my lungs (also more distracting than smoking)
Legin11 0
but it's ok to change the radio station, eat lunch, and talk to your passenger? but oh don't smoke that could be a distraction!
Cinn_fml 23
HaileyHAVOC - Either way, you'd still be in your car... The temperature won't change by you pulling over, so I'm not sure what your point is there. Also, if (hypothetically) you screamed your head off in my car, I'd kick you out for being an annoying little brat. Legin - If that was aimed at me, you didn't read my post properly, I said that I have problems with people doing unnecessary things, eating is included, as is unnecessary changing of radio as well as smoking.
buttersthelorry 0
I smoke while driving, never had an accident before and I drive well over the speed limit but only in certain areas where I know there's no cops and plus I know how to drive fast smartly and not take stupid risks like all the other dumbasses out there like not braking in a corner but before the corner.
Cinn_fml 23
Butters - I think driving faster because you know the roads safe enough for it is a better reason than there not being cops there, but I think that might've been included in the next bit of your post. Also, as I've already said, the smoking driving thing (along with others) is just something I personally find a problem, because I can't see the point of adding extra distractions/risks. And yes, even if you can do it (and have so far not had an accident) you can't really deny it is an extra distraction, just you find that it's one that is worth it because it isn't that much of one.
travmadd 0
ok #12 shut the hell up!!! we have moms for that, so go and crawl in your little hole and never talk again.
Cinn_fml 23
Travmadd, piss off.
Savreth 12
lol all of those things can be done while watching the road, nooblet