Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the crosswalk. Suddenly, I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving in my very own car that I bought and paid for myself, when I stopped at a stop light. Then I noticed the truck in front of me turn on his reverse lights. I honked desperately. He hits me, looks out the window and says, "I see no damage" and drives away. FML
Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML
Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML
Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML
Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML
Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML
Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML
Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldn't see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML
Today, I was driving to work and stopped at a stop light. A full 2 or 3 seconds passed, followed by a car rear-ending me. The idiot driving it got out and gave me hell, calling me a maniac because I braked "too quickly" and didn't give him a chance to react. FML
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Top comments
Ikcor 0
With all due respect to the blind guy, why didn't he detect your van with his cane, or just hear it?
arms_akimbo 0
#7 How's the blind guy going to sue? Not like he took down the license plate number. HAHA. I'm going to hell for that one.
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Comments (48)
moig_fml 0
haha dude thats horrible. nothin you could do about not being used to the breaks
tencentsakiss 19
1, you can not be serious. if he caused an accident "not being used to the breaks" is not an adequate excuse, nor is it here. 100% op's fault.
LordP123 0
F your life? Pshh...F his life. That event sucks a lot more for him than it does for you. You might be embarrassed about it...but hey...he walked into a van.
Ikcor 0
With all due respect to the blind guy, why didn't he detect your van with his cane, or just hear it?
Shadow14l 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Are you ******* retarded? There's a reason the blind always have the rightaway. They count their steps.
ferrettamer 6
Yes, but most blind have seeing eye dogs now.
splarf1991 0
if he was using a walking stick the stick would have gone under the van before him DA
henrylikestreats 22
Even if it went under the car, it would have still hit it before he did.
brand125 17
32 - are YOU "****** retarted" for real? 3 brought up a valid point!
BeautyAndBrains 0
Wow, that sucks. There really was nothing you could have done to avoid that, especially since you weren't used to the breaks. I hope the guy was okay. Don't beat yourself up about it...not your fault.
Puolukka 4
Well, at least you didn't hit the guy...see it that way...lol...
yoursavinggrace 0
Why are people saying you deserve this? It doesn't seem like anyone's fault to me.
stupidLes 0
Agree with #7, but the author'll be lucky if not sued :(
Rayn4u_fml 0
Agree with #3, are you sure the man was blind and not just plain stupid? Then again you were in the middle of the crosswalk...
arms_akimbo 0
#7 How's the blind guy going to sue? Not like he took down the license plate number. HAHA. I'm going to hell for that one.
KiSsKiZzy 0
#10 made me laugh
MusicLuver670 0
I'm so retarded
greenman_fml 0
haha that's what he gets for being blind. should have known better