Today, my husband's car was stolen from our driveway while he was out jogging. We'd recently had a huge fight, and he accused me of having done this to get revenge. I was at work all day, but it seems this doesn't make any difference to his dumb, paranoid ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML
Today, I walked out of my boyfriend's house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighborhood. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I heard that my ex wrecked my car. He'd "borrowed it" and has had it for 2 months. He refused to return it. I went to the police and they went behind my back and "attempted" to retrieve it yesterday, without me. This just caused him to run away. FML
Today, my grown up, unemployed boyfriend stole 70 dollars from my wallet and tried to hide it in two different places in case he needed to ditch me and go out by himself. He got angry when I confronted him and stormed out. He feels perfectly entitled. I work, pay rent and buy food. FML
Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML
Today, my husband and I went out to dinner. I caught him writing down his number for the waitress. When I confronted him, his response was, "What? I'm not allowed to have friends?" and threw a fit over my "irrational paranoia." I had to walk home in the cold, because he kicked me out of the car mid-argument. FML
Today, after I found out my husband cheated on me and then yesterday had to stop him from trying to kill himself, he's now moved out and has decided that this is all my fault. FML
Today, after months of working on our relationship, my ex asked to borrow my car. After many hours and phone calls to see where he was, he still wasn't back. I decided to check my car's GPS and found him at my friend's house. He tried to deny that it was her house, when I've been there multiple times. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML
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Top comments
AmethystRain 20
You should counter-accuse him of doing it himself in an attempt to frame you, then settle it with a sword fight in the front yard.
tylersign 11
Ok, the deed is done. Where's my money?
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Comments (117)
karkid619 8
What a dumbass.
Tadeusz_fml 5
I smell a divorce. Wait, false alarm, it's pie. Which is good. Pie > divorce.
MagicallyFat 12
Trust is such an important thing in a relationship that and the knowledge of hot wiring cars apparently
SemperFi_23 6
Schizophrenia perhaps?
flockz 20
tell him he shouldn't be running away from his problems.
LiveLaughFML 10
I'm not pointing any fingers here but isn't it ironic how this happened around the time you and your husband were fighting? Also, wouldn't you have a spare key to his car in the house so you could back it out of the driveway and hide it somewhere? Something smells fishy! ;-)
megan_lovee 0
ooh #1 yur hot pm mee
Caramelox 3
It's his problem for not believing the situation.
ntherewas1 11
I agree. Married couples really work as a sort of composite entity, so harm to one half is really harm to both people.
n_epic_fail 14
This is when you leave his sorry ass and take half of everything... But you know that's just an idea.
Iffyy 6
93 - unless they signed a pre-nup..
fmlrightnowww 11
Op is a liar!!! Singapore has the lowest crime rate in the world and I'm sure if a car was stolen it would be in the news by now if this post is real..
andrew145 3
That's nasty
futtbuck101 1
A dumb and paranoid ass can be quite nasty.
flockz 20
ya never knowing where to shit, always skeptical of the toilet paper, nervous that toilets are following him...
tylersign 11
Ok, the deed is done. Where's my money?
peptidoglycan 4
He's stupid. If you stole it wouldn't you keep it at your house? So it should still be sitting in the driveway.
EwanSmith 2
what? how little imagination do you have?
SadinSherman 16
Why would she steal his car and keep in the driveway,which is probably the first place he will look if they don't have a garage.
SinfulTragedy 19
Hey now, judging by 5's picture, he/she is only a little baby!
karkid619 8
If she stole it and kept it in the driveway then I'm pretty sure that's not stealing if it's still on their property.
StopDropNRoll 11
I hear a divorce around the corner unfortunately :(
Portalcc 4
You don't just get a divorce because of a fight.
Jaxx66 21
If he's already playing the blame game, yes you do.
ironwords 8
Well 60 when I got in one fight my Mom sent me to live with my aunt and uncle in California. Why is this so different?
xGraycloud 4
You and your mom aren't married nor promised to spend the rest of your lives with each other?
ClassyCommando 13
Really? I was sent to my aunt and uncle in Bel Air, despite the fact that I only got in one little fight, which frightened my mother.
shitidied 17
THE REFERENCES ARE EXTREME HERE
EwanSmith 2
you're very convincing
The_creator_fml 2
Ya because stealing his car would benifit you... Now you probably have to drive him everywhere. He's dumb.
TimysterGates 15
ah, you sound so in love.
loserman67 36
"His dumb, paranoid ass." Sounds like your relationship is going nicely. I side with your hubby, you sound like the type to do just this very thing. It's funny that it happened just as he was out jogging. almost like someone knew when he would be away for awhile. Here's what you do, give him his car back and then pack up yours and get the hell out if things are that bad.
Ins0mau 20
Why would she bother lying about this to a bunch of strangers?
stephanieeDawnx 0
If she was at work all day, how could she have done it? Ya know, people DO have jobs. I think it would be more realistic that she was at work, than that she would steal his car, when, as pointed out above, she would probably be the one to have to drive him around, now. How about we use some common sense?
nissanman_fml 16
Yes, obviously the OP didn't do it, 52, but your logic is fairly flawed in coming to that conclusion. Your argument about having a job carries little weight; if I was hell-bent on revenge, I wouldn't hesitate to call in sick to work and then carry out my revenge. The OP's husband has no idea whether his wife was at work or not, and her word probably doesn't count for much in the current state of their relationship. As for the argument that she would have to drive him around, yeah that's a valid point, but in making that argument, you might be giving the OP more credit than is due. When people are pissed off, common sense usually goes out the window, so you couldn't really expect the OP to properly weigh the consequences of what might happen and the possible outcomes of her stealing his car. So that explanation goes out the window as well. How about you use some common sense, 52?
Jdeluxh 12
66- Finally a logical person on here. 43- I have actually contemplated posting an FML if I ever decided to commit a crime. Many people would follow the same thought pattern as you, and believe I was telling the truth.
brettlovesgirls 4
Why are we all getting worked up on it? Big words aren't gonna help anybody. It's an FML and it was posted to bring humor/ lessen someone's bad mood by telling that certain person that they're not alone.
Monkeysmommy1 0
Take the insurance money from the theft and hire a divorce lawyer. What a dumbass