Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was stood up on a date. Her excuse? "I had to work out." FML
Today, I got stood up on a date. To add insult to injury, meeting up was her idea. FML
Today, the guy I've been looking forward going on a date with had to cancel due to Covid. This wouldn't have been an issue, if I didn't see him later that night posting about him at a bar with another girl. FML
Today, my new girlfriend canceled my badly needed haircut appointment. She feels that having my female hairstylist wash and cut my hair involves "too much touching" and "counts as cheating." FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML
Today, my wife cancelled on our date we had planned for over a month. It would have been our first one-on-one date since the birth of our first child. Our child is over 13 months old. FML
Today, I was planning on going on a date with a girl I've really liked. She told me today was the only we could hang out before her trip. I got an expensive hair cut, planned on cooking her dinner, and pulled a few strings and got on the list for a big concert. Turns out she'd rather go shopping FML
Today, my boyfriend canceled our date last-minute. He claimed he had no time because he had to iron his towels. FML
Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML
Today, I got asked on a date. I was later told we had to cancel. Why? My ex is parked in front of his house and he is afraid to leave. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
The_9th_Doctor 18
did you arrange a date with Sarah Jessica Parker?
Welshite 40
What is she: a centaur?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (64)
Welshite 40
What is she: a centaur?
TheCanucklehead 22
Or a horseman
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
I mean, to be honest op, people who work on farms, or any place really, do chores at any time of a day. Having a full day schedule sometimes makes it hard to be done by 6 or 7. I know people who go nonstop until 8 at night.
chabelo 10
she forgot to wash the unicorn's hair early
katnissmellark_fml 15
naw... she's the headless horseman.
noir_heart 8
No, she's just a really terrible liar. That or she's dedicated to her horses.
lifesuxrealbad 10
Well, she might have a horse!
The_9th_Doctor 18
did you arrange a date with Sarah Jessica Parker?
thepunman 11
Neigh
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Very good. You win a cookie.
reveal 10
probably for the best
blcksocks 19
Yeah OP will find another date.. In a few years
worldclassrager 41
Putting a horse before you or as #1 said doesn't deserve you...you can do better...
SJParker 13
I have to say, nice picture.
golden_warrior 23
So you put everyone that you just met above your pets?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#4, I'd put my horse before anyone if she were sick or injured. (I know the FML says nothing about that, I'm just saying).
JE553 9
I'm pretty sure OP was trying to say washing your horses hair would not take so long that they would not be able to make a 9:30pm date, thus making #4's point valid
stewpididiot 11
Are you calling OP a cart ???
worldclassrager 41
Lol we match...
worldclassrager 41
I agree with that statement...maybe a follow up will reveal more...
worldclassrager 41
At least someone understands...
Mossears133 15
I treat all of my animals like my children, and if any guy tried to put himself above them he would be OUT.
T1A2Z3 35
I've dated guys like you... it's really disturbing. I had to get out. I don't think you will have any succesful relationships...
Moochi456 20
Just like the dictionary says: Horse before husband.
Daiyuki 5
75 - Future (or present?) crazy-cat-lady.
threer 30
Crazy-horse-lady . She loves to ride as much as crazy-cat ladies pamper their *******. :::;)
nfsdude0125 14
As the saying goes, the stick of poverty is owning a horse. If a woman put an animal before me, see ya!
Mobyman30 9
Don't let that get you down OP. Keep smiling and move on...
DocBastard 40
I have to assume "wash the horse's hair" is a euphemism for masturbation. I hadn't heard that one before.
brackaman 18
I thought that too. I wonder if “decient" is also a euphemism?
christinatabor 3
she's got a little to much hair on her?
Zlinder666 12
It could be that, you sir, are an ass.
JtPv 14
Dammit, I downvoted before I got the pun. :( At least I hope that's a pun.
jessBeAqueen 13
regardless she's the ass. it was his first date in YEARS. what a night-mare
ElricMustang 23
Well, I wouldn't use the fact that it was the first date in years to date someone. That sounds more like a pity date, and I wouldn't want to do that for someone, or have it done to me.
esines 9
Or maybe it's because he can't spell "decent" the right way.
olpally 33
That's the stupidest excuse I've ever heard. What a bitch.
Axipiter 24
I've heard worse...
olpally 33
She's a **** bag.
allie2590 31
And you're a grumpypants. Cheer up. :-)
golden_warrior 23
You need to step your dating game up. It seem like you're doing something wrong if you haven't had a date in years.