The Top

I'm in second year of uni, and it was a nap i took to psyche myself up for starting the next essay I have to submit by Monday :P so yeah stress is the word!

By Anonymous - 07/05/2015 15:45 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was out with my youngest cousin and we had to stop for gas. Since he just got his license, I asked if he wanted to pump the gas while I went into the station to get snacks and pay. He pumped my car full of diesel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 724

You deserved it 7 206

By I'm just sick, really - 02/05/2015 00:33 - United States - Springfield

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 364

You deserved it 2 466

By hungry hungry harvey - 08/05/2016 16:56 - United States

Today, my wife is so determined to keep me on my diet that, as I'm off work for the next week, she has gotten rid of all the food in the house. She has also taken the phones and iPads so I can't order a takeaway, and taken all my trousers so I can't walk to the shops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 658

You deserved it 2 553

By bruised - 11/04/2016 07:26 - United States - Novi

Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 832

You deserved it 3 062

By floggingnasty - 13/02/2011 11:38 - United States

Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 883

You deserved it 2 842

By SweetStuff88 - 15/11/2012 13:37 - United States

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 628

You deserved it 9 726

**** my shit up

By hair2daygone4ever - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 983

You deserved it 4 863

By Anonymous - 31/08/2013 20:52 - Norway - Nesoddtangen

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 955

You deserved it 4 026

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 23:36 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was told that if I was caught yawning again, I'd be fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 900

You deserved it 2 309

I like to move it move it

By sunshinexx - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I announced to my family that I was going to start playing netball with my work colleagues. They all burst into fits of laughter at the thought of me doing physical activity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 412

You deserved it 4 525

By Anonymous - 27/08/2012 18:20 - United States - Burlington

Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 409

You deserved it 2 972

Thanks mom

By unemployed - 24/08/2012 18:00 - United States - Alhambra

Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 503

You deserved it 26 382

Rave on

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I used the same credit card to apply to college and pay for a rave ticket. My card went through on the rave ticket but denied the college application fee. I guess my credit card is trying to tell me something about my future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 585

You deserved it 10 978

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The Top

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 526

You deserved it 7 251

Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 858

You deserved it 29 549

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 192

You deserved it 4 227

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend jumping on my bed exclaiming that he had "won the lottery." He broke the bed. Turns out he only won £15.80. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 588

You deserved it 3 220

Today, I called my boyfriend. He answered with, "Hey, I'll call you back when this goes to commercial." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 509

Today, my girlfriend suggested that she needs a "cuddle buddy" because I'm never home to spend with her. I have to work two jobs to pay the bills because she keeps calling in "sick" from her job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 182