Today, I was sucking on a candy and I began choking. A coworker rushed over to give me the Heimlich maneuver. That freed the candy from my throat, and also the shit from my bowels. FML
NYM88 tells us more.
NYM88 26
OP here. Firstly for those who automatically assumed my coworker was a male, you've made an ass out of you and supposedly me too. Secondly for those saying that they shouldn't have done the Heimlich maneuver and should have hit me on the back.. You've again made assumptions based on a lack of information. Unfortunately you are limited to the amount of characters your FML can be composed of so I had to leave out details. My coworker she first asked me if I could breathe, when I shook my head no, she gave a few thrusts with her palm to my back between the shoulder blades and when that failed to dislodge the candy she told me she was going to perform the Heimlich maneuver and I nodded and when she did she got it out in the first try thankfully and my ribs I think are still a bit tender from, I'd guess, bruising. And to those that said thankfully I'm alive.. Thanks, I am glad I am too even though cleaning up wasn't something I was glad about!
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
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Top comments
EvilTurtle 35
Hey at least you're alive
iwanttogotoparis 26
I would rather that then choke to death
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Comments (66)
EvilTurtle 35
Hey at least you're alive
teentee401 37
Yeah, at least your coworker's give a shit........ *ba dum tss*
zach205 24
Well that has to suck, but definitely preferable to dieing but not ******** your pants.
reklawelyk 15
Why are people down voting this?
TripleATeam 13
You shit your pants when you die.
hmrhoades 18
Shit from your bowels? Where else would it come from?
zach205 24
For some people, quite a lot comes from their mouths.
hardcorepunk87 18
Well that's a shitty way to have your life saved.
R2Y2 22
No.
iwanttogotoparis 26
I would rather that then choke to death
teentee401 37
You would rather have all of that happen and then to add insult to injury (or maybe injury to insult), choke to death?!?!
PotatoeNumberOne 8
you really messed up on this one.
tantanpanda 26
To clarify, she would prefer to be saved from choking, then choke again, but die the second time.
thecitizen 15
All I can think of when I read this is the scene in Family Guy where Jerome performs the Heimlich Maneuver on Lois very sexually...
courtzzz23 17
you. I like you
Richard6036 13
At least you're still alive and breathing
Yimpish 15
It could've been worse. At least it's didn't happen the other way around.
confusedAsFuck 34
How? Choke on her shit and free up her stomach?!
deitcocaine 14
Well that *sucks* Haha puns
Girlshotdown1 21
No, just stop.
AnimeFan28 21
A little bit of embarrassment in exchange for being alive, I think that's worth it. It's unfortunate that happened, but at least you're still alive