Today, my wife of 10 years bought me a bottle of wine, a wine rack, and a wine accessory kit for my birthday. She knows I don't like wine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML
Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML
Today, I surprised my wife with some new lingerie for our upcoming anniversary, thinking she would like it. Instead of a thank you, I got an ungrateful attitude from her instead. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML
Today, I gave my wife a £55 gin Advent calendar. She gave me a £1 one with chocolates i don't like. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, a week after my 10-year anniversary, I realized I've somehow been roped into hosting my husband's crush's birthday party with all their friends. My gift to myself was a $60 bottle of whiskey that won't arrive in time to help me with my debilitating social anxiety. FML
Today, I was having a garage sale and my mother-in-law came by to see what I was selling. She decided to buy these ugly green wine glasses that were still unopened. It turns out that she gave those to my wife and me when we got married. FML
Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML
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Top comments
914smv 18
This is probably for her! For her birthday buy lots of beer! and maybe go to a football game!!
Crawyz 11
Well don't wine about it
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Comments (66)
purplemango 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
One simple answer: divorce her (obviously).
gamermonster 34
"Let's divorce from my wife just because she bought wine stuff and I don't like wine" yeah, that will go down well...
tranced_ 45
#1 not funny even if you were being sarcastic..
purplemango 21
Lol, didn't think I'd get downvoted this much. I'm just making fun of the standard response of a lot of people to these kind of posts. A shame that a lot of people apparently can't detect sarcasm.
PrincessZelda_HR 22
At some point the Internet just ought to include some sort of sarcasm font option or something
gamermonster 34
It would have been easier to detect if you placed it between " ;)
Spartancjm 28
It's hard to detect sarcasm if you're not hearing it, sadly
bryce0110 23
What really should've made the sarcasm to be seen, was the "obviously". I detected it, yet other people can't. Another way of doing it is putting /s after your post.
glossykarma 19
Honestly, I thought it was funny.
Whydoyouask 11
How do people not realize this was sarcasm? It was such an over the top, extreme response. I thought it was funny
ldhull 16
I hope you have a good sense of humor.
Tripartita 45
"Oh, you spent quite a bit on stuff I don't like. Haha, I get it! That's really funny somehow!"
914smv 18
This is probably for her! For her birthday buy lots of beer! and maybe go to a football game!!
Brandi_Faith 34
It sounds to me like the wife is interested in that stuff and she bought that stuff in hopes of it being something you could enjoy and do together. It's a bad call and actually kind of selfish of her, even though that wasn't her intention. She should've just bought something she knew you'd enjoy. Although if that was her line of thinking than maybe she's looking for more things for you guys to do together. Talk to her about it, tell her you don't like wine and would rather return it for something you'll use and like, then ask her if she wanted to join a class or try something else together that you could both like.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
I'm sorry, did you miss the part that says "She knows I don't like wine" because judging by the book you wrote, it seems you did.
Brandi_Faith 34
No I didn't miss that part, which is why I wrote "tell her you don't like wine" and suggested he return it and later ask his wife if there was something else they could do together. I said that she probably (selfishly) bought it for herself and thought (selfishly) that it was something they could do together. Sounds like you didn't even read my "book." Should've just responded TL;DR if that was how you felt instead of trying to knock my comment that actually pertained to the situation. :)
thestoryofacaleb 14
TL;DR
Witch_E_Poo 14
LMFAO, MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY.
Witch_E_Poo 14
AND she wrote another fuc876g book! AND boringly repeated it...
Witch_E_Poo 14
Let me guess, you just told her the other day, she drinks to much? Joking aside, I know selfish people like this and they do buy stuff for themselves, for you. You have some thinking to do. Alotnof good comments on this one!
SOILEDIT 51
It wouldn't surprise me if she got it for herself. Smash them over her head for next year.
CheekyRaccoon 27
Said the sociopath.
jojocircus19 16
Ummm..... That's domestic abuse
PotatoesAndCake 26
Was she drunk when she gave it to you?
hasooon 24
Your life is ******.
mswim 27
Wow. That's rough. Maybe, looking at the positives, she figured you'd like this one bottle of wine? Maybe she wanted you to try this one? But that's unlikely as she bought a rack and accessory kit.
team_garra 8
Well she better give you a birthday present in bed tonight to make up for it!
Crawyz 11
Well don't wine about it
ohSNAPyall 27
How bout a little cheese with that whine?
iFurrhy 11
Get out.
niallo 23
I think it's for her. So re-gift it to someone else. See what says.