Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML
Today, my grandmother gave me rosary beads for my birthday. She told me I'd better start praying for a husband. FML
Today, a customer told me, "Girls your size can't bend at the waist." I couldn't stop laughing at the imagery long enough to be really offended. FML
Today, my brain-dead brother-in-law decided to play five finger fillet while at my place. Predictably, he ended up slicing a finger wide open. My mother-in-law now wants my blood, because she thinks I dared him to do it, and that clearly her perfect little angel couldn't be such a moron. FML
Today, I found out I have hypersomnia, which is basically being constantly tired. I've been treated with depression for years because the symptoms are similar. I've failed out of college three times because of this. Now, I think I really am depressed. FML
BeHarsh27 tells us more.
OP here. I've been on 3 different depression meds before this. The first didnt do hardly anything, the second made me really moody and pretty much angry constantly no matter the situation, and the last seemed to help some, but not all that much. I had a sleep study not long ago and actually got some concrete results from it. I can fall asleep in minutes (normal is like 15 to 20 I think) and I get to REM sleep in less than 15 minutes (again, normal is like ~1 hour). So its not a problem with me not getting to sleep for the one suggesting pot, lol. As of now I'm taking Ritalin, the second recommended drug for hypersomnia. The "suggested" medication is Provigil, but its way too expensive for me to afford even with insurance. The times I tried to go to school was for music performance. I did progressively "better" each time I went, being better prepared each time, but that still didnt keep me from sleeping too late, missing classes, and subsequently getting so far behind that it seemed useless to go anyway. I'm currently looking into game design schools (level design specifically, not programming/animation) as I got a little burned out on the music thing. Thanks for the feedback, its good to know theres others out there dealing with the same thing I am.
Today, in a train, I did the old "I've got your nose" trick for a kid. He got off at the next stop, then waved something at me from the platform, then yelled, "I've got your keys!" FML
Today, finally we got our toddler daughter to sleep in her own bed. The wife and I were both excited to finally have our room to ourselves. Just as our daughter was about to fall asleep, the damn cat went into her room and loudly hacked up a huge hairball. Now she's back in mommy's and daddy's bed. FML
Today, returning home from a party, I realised I'd forgotten my keys. My roommate was sleeping so soundly that after an hour of throwing gravel and ringing the doorbell, I had to give up and get a room at the hotel over the road. For €85 I had a view of my room. FML
Today, I went to work in a great mood, something that doesn't happen often. It was shortly ruined after some lady yelled at me because I accidentally shorted her one penny. Yep. One single penny. FML
Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML
Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML
Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML
Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
Today, the family in the apartment next to me decided to give their 4-year-old kid a recorder. It's been three hours. Kill me. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML
Today, I was working at Coldstone. When a customer tips us we are required to sing. A late night DJ came in, put 20 dollars in the tip cup, and asked to hear every song we had. After we sang one song he looked at me and asked me to please stop singing or he was taking his money back. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML
Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML
gimmeafknbreak tells us more.
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML
Today, my extremely OCD girlfriend wouldn't have sex with me because my bedroom wasn't "properly symmetrical." FML
Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML
Epic_failz tells us more.
There are no cameras in that place...at all, its stupid as hell, but there is not a single camera in there.
Today, I let a friend cut my hair. I soon went from having a 'fro to looking like I lost a fight with a lawn mower. FML
Today, my mother-in-law told me that God won't allow me to have a baby with my husband because we're both agnostic. Yet it seems God thinks her druggie daughter can have two just because she's a Christian. FML
Tiny_Nerd tells us more.
Tiny_Nerd 14
OP here. To clarify my husband and I have been trying to conceive for a year and three months. I had reasons prior to starting (inconsistent cycle, family history) to believe I might be infertile, but we wanted to wait a year and see. We're currently about to get checked out and tested to see what's what. This particular incident I was talking to my mother in law about the fact we haven't managed to conceive yet and her advise was to "pray to the Lord with all our hearts" for a baby. She knows very well that my husband and I are agnostic, so I reiterated to her (as I've had to do since I was in the dating stages with my husband) that we are agnostic and not inclined toward Christianity at all. Her immediate response was "that's why God won't give you(my husband and I) a baby". To be fair to her, I will say I've heard about her background and it was pretty abusive so this is a learned behavior (though it's no excuse). From what I've seen while she's not as bad as her parents, but she has some pretty abusive tendencies which has more than once resulted in bad fall-outs and drama; more often than not with women (males are not exempt) who are either in the family or connected by familial ties. She tends to be quite controlling and doesn't react well when people don't do what she wants. It's been suggested before that she get therapy, but she refuses as she thinks there's nothing wrong with her behavior. Everyone knows she's like this, no one likes it. As for this particular incident it was pointed out by my husband that this was her way of aggressively trying to convert us because that's her "Christian" way of loving; in her mentality it's for our own good. My husband did stand up for me when he found out. Her response was less than stellar. My husband loves his family (his mother too, even if he doesn't like her) and unfortunately you can't avoid his mother without avoiding the family as well. I do my best to avoid drama while still standing my ground and not letting myself get walked all over which isn't easy as you can see. As for my sister in law I won't go into specifics, but her children are going through a bad time (because of both their parents) and we can see how it's affecting them. My husband and I have been trying to think of ways we can convince their parents to allow us to have temporary custody till at least one of them can give them a stable environment (though to be frank I wouldn't mind if it was permanent). One last clarification: I have nothing against Christians. I'm actually a theology nerd (amongst many other nerdoms). I actually consider this type of "Christian" behavior an affront to what the religion is supposed to be. My husband and I had a discussion and we've decided due to this incident when we DO have children one way or the other (whether it be natural, from fertility treatments, fostering, or adoption) we will absolutely forbid his parents to talk about religion with them or around them at all nor will they be left alone with the children unless it can't be avoided (like if we had an emergency). If they try to do so anyway visits will be limited or cut off. We had already decided that it would be in our wills when we have children that his parents (among others in both our families) under no circumstances are to get custody if something happens to us.
Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML
Today, after I had watched a few videos of myself, I realized the sound of my own voice is the single most annoying thing I have ever heard. FML
Today, I found out my mom took around $2,500 from my savings account to pay off my sister's college tuition. She recently flunked out of her studies and won't be returning to college anyway. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
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