Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
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Top comments
Globrorey 3
Yeah if he slipped it in your ass he knew what he was doing. Secondly you can't just "slip it" in the ass without proper lube anyway. You should've felt him knocking at the back door and then you could've guided him to the front. If he slipped it in your ass, then he's not a virgin. You got scammed.
sadblufly 18
If you've masturbated before you actually had sex with him, you should tell him what you like and help him around. If he was also a virgin or pretty inexperienced he might not know his way around your lady bits
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Comments (77)
Qandol 26
I know it was your first time, but was it also his first time? If yes then it's understandable, but if it's not then he is playing smart.
Cathrin 26
"We'd both waited until marriage" those first two words imply that it was also his first time. Granted, you'd think a basic knowledge of the birds and the bees would be standard by marriage age, yet he seems to lack that, given he couldn't tell the two holes apart.
Qandol 26
It's possible, but also at the same time he may not of been Virgins and after meeting his wife, she didn't wanted to have sex and they both waited till Marriage.
never_three 21
#4, "we both waited" does not imply that OPs husband was also a virgin. The statement "he slipped it in my ass then pretended he didn't know which hole was the right one" implies that he at least claimed to be a virgin. There can be one virginal partner in a relationship and both can wait til marriage before having sex. But unless OP and her man were drenched in lube, there no way he just slipped in there. That's not an easy hole to stick into first time round.
Elban 20
She could be a larger woman and drop mammoth logs. It could've been widened due to her diet and/or his manly bits could be of the smaller variety
CogadhTallon 16
I don't even... 62, why did you make that comment exist?
earthfire1 2
Why is this down voted? Comedy gold.
dudeutookhrs 24
That position is called the dolphin, in case you didn't know.
NorthernNoise 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No, it is called rape. Sticking your pens inside someone without permission (or permission to use that hole) is called rape, even if your married, even if they are okay with other sex acts.
thawny_fml 21
Woah settle down there 9. You need to learn some things before jumping on the SJW train.
stevenN659 24
no, I do believe that definition of rape, is "unwanted sexual conduct". Not missing the glory hole by 2 inches
mfmylifesrsly 30
it's not rape if he unintentionally did it..jesus.
Nysha 17
Sure, but does anyone really believe he did it by accident?
juturnaamo 29
If she has the kind of asshole that a dick can just slip into? Yeah, maybe.
HonestPie 10
Rape? Jesus, the dude's an asshole and just stuck it in her... asshole. Just say **** off and if he keeps on doing it, then that there is rape. Rape is pretty straight forward.
eyepuppy 31
Wow #9. You went all the way to left field for that one.
MajesticRacoon 7
You a feminist?
earthfire1 2
Jumping to conclusions much? Pretty sure it was mutual as the OP describes. Calm down lol.
sadblufly 18
If you've masturbated before you actually had sex with him, you should tell him what you like and help him around. If he was also a virgin or pretty inexperienced he might not know his way around your lady bits
jttorkildson 21
That's actually kind of concerning. It's both of your first times and he's already crossing boundaries without asking? I mean, technically you haven't consummated the marriage without vaginal penetration so...
Sharkieee 6
I don't think that applies still now that gay marriage is legal, does it?
NorthernNoise 7
If he's going for anal without your permission, he is not a virgin and he is an asshole. Sorry you discovered that after you married him, and watch out for whatever other shit he tries to pull
ChrisHavok 5
pun intended
Dodge4x4Ram 46
oops doesn't quite do it
Globrorey 3
Yeah if he slipped it in your ass he knew what he was doing. Secondly you can't just "slip it" in the ass without proper lube anyway. You should've felt him knocking at the back door and then you could've guided him to the front. If he slipped it in your ass, then he's not a virgin. You got scammed.
Vandrak 8
maybe he is just really tiny
MallowMistress 13
She could have just meant he slid down and pushed, trying to push into her ass. I've had that happen far too many times, usually from too much movement/speed mixing. but all the same.
MrsHoffman 11
If he slipped it into your ass that easily, your not a virign either, at least not in the backdoor!
False_Stupidity 42
Maybe he has a pencil sized pecker to be able to accidentally slip it in there.
RosaMaravillosa 10
yeah, I agree with 12 and 50. I had that happen with an undersized boyfriend more than once. just slipped right in there without any lube whatsoever.
samsam23t 8
correction if he slipped in in her butt that means she's not a complete virgin because that would hurt like hell if he were to just slip it in and if he doesn't know what a ****** feels like yes he can mistake it for one especially if he didn't see where he put it while in doggy style or if his manhood missed and slipped into it.
jasonrellet 22
#8 not true! When my girlfriend and I did it for the first time I missed the correct hole and almost went in her back door... She showed me how to determine which one is the right one. We still get it wrong some times, after almost 2 years
MrEpicSqueaky101 18
It happens. I know it does. Things get slippery and your girlfriend at the time gets pissed off. ;_;
Unenunciable 14
I agree. I think he's a liar and that he intentionally violated her and her trust. What a scumbag!!
tygerarmy 35
A lot of things are going on in this FML, I wanna know if only the OP is a virgin or if they both are. Assuming the husband is, it's a lack of education issue. Then what is meant by slipped? Did he line up wrong, did he push hard into the wrong door. How easy was it to slip in? It could be a size thing on one or both parts, and a natural lubrication thing. Some uncut guys naturally lubricate really well. Adding those things together a lot combinations of the above or others could have happened.
sweetpotato301 7
She showed you how to determine which is the right hole? Is it not simple enough to just look and be able to identify the difference between a ****** and an anus?
Comrox 19
80 - OP says they *both* waited for marriage. They were both virgins previously.
Mungolikecandy 19
Very true. It is not possible to just "slip it in" unless the person has a slack sphincter for some reason or has a lot of experience of it.
Ging3rSnap 9
Same! I dated a guy with a small "package" and he could slip in the back door very easily without any lube
Fa1lenAngel 2
Well I mean, my 2nd time (first time wasn't really a proper one, hard to explain) when I did doggy style, sometimes the dick would come out and I would try to put it back in and accidentally touch into the wrong hole, although of course didn't go straight in cause 1. didn't go hard 2. wasn't lubed to that extent. Just because he accidentally got it in your ass doesn't necessarily mean he's not a virgin...
Vandrak 8
he knew.
Justinspires 5
You have life to get better with him! Have fun!
RinoaHeartilly 36
I sense some shenanigans. That's not something that just slips in without doing some damage.