The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

How 'bout no · 21 November 2022, 00:00 ·United States

Kevin can **** himself

Today, the almost 80 year-old man who almost became my mom's stepfather is in the hospital again. This man is not only a raging alcoholic (emphasis on "raging") who by all means should not be alive, but he's also pushed away everyone who cares about him. He still expects us to drop everything for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888 You deserved it 125

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Boyufd · 30 August 2021, 18:01

Badass

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after 3 years. Why, do you ask? Turns out her dad used to bully my dad in highschool and my dad kicked his ass after all this time and sent him to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235 You deserved it 107

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Anonymous · 4 April 2024, 09:00

May to August

Today, and after my divorce finalised, I ended up falling in love with a 28 year-old woman, meaning that she's 16 years younger than I am. I knew I might be judged for it but man, I was not prepared for the levels of abuse I’d receive from my family, and even strangers, who see us holding hands in public and feel the need to make cruel comments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512 You deserved it 314

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BahHumbug · 27 November 2022, 22:00

Social media was a mistake

Today, I was no longer being considered for the counselor position at a prestigious university because of a social media check. It wasn’t anything on my profile, it was comments I'd made on public posts, laced with profanity and insults towards other commenters. There goes my Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194 You deserved it 2 609

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Anonymous · 14 April 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Thanks, I guess…

Today, my dad brought home a used hunk of junk from someone he knew. It was covered in rust and dents, and the engine was making weird noises. Thinking he was being generous, he said to me, "When you get your license, you'll be driving it!" It then died with a loud bang and black smoke from under the hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474 You deserved it 122

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Anonymous · 4 December 2022, 14:00 ·Australia

Gaslighting

Today, I'm not going to our family Christmas party due to events last year that caused me to cut off contact with one of my sisters. My entire family is now making me out to be the villain to my 8 year-old, and trying to manipulate my decision with guilt trips. They have reduced me to tears 12 days in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948 You deserved it 153

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Anonymous · 5 December 2022, 14:00 🌶️ Spicy

Bored

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend felt the need to ask me if I could get my ladder and clean the ceiling, because it looked dusty with a spiderweb in the corner. I didn’t realise I was so boring in bed that she had the time to examine the ceiling and plan my chore list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027 You deserved it 532

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gan-1991 · 15 June 2020, 23:01

It's called caring, OK?

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to the sound of my cat puking up a hairball. This is the second year in a row he has done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257 You deserved it 305

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Anonymous · 13 September 2021, 17:00

Narcissus

Today, my friend isn't speaking to me since I came out to her. Not because she's a homophobe, but because she's mortally offended that I didn't confess my love in the process. Seems that everyone who's attracted to women should be attracted to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213 You deserved it 124

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MissQ · 20 June 2020, 17:01

That's a great look!

Today, I was trying to learn how to whistle. On the elevator ride up to my room, I was experimenting with tongue placement and mouth position. At the height of my facial contortions and probable spitting, the elevator doors opened to reveal the guy I've been crushing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 216 You deserved it 650

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Anonymous · 30 December 2022, 00:00 🌶️ Spicy

What kind of sex are you having?

Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095 You deserved it 481

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Anonymous · 28 September 2021, 01:59

Freud intensifies

Today, I couldn't bring up a close friend from college in a conversation without my mom bashing her for over ten minutes. She does this with practically all my close female friends. I suspect she subconsciously doesn't want any girl to steal her son away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905 You deserved it 89

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Anonymous · 29 December 2022, 12:00 ·Germany

Like a true Marxist

Today, I’ve been feeling like I got something stuck in my eye for hours. Nope, just one of those tiny blood vessels swollen up to the point it chafes on my eyelid. The only way I’m not in pain is by looking exclusively toward the extreme left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941 You deserved it 95

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Anonymous · 19 May 2024, 12:00 ·Eichstaett, Germany

The staircase

Today, I broke my arm because my fucking ass friend pushed me off the stairs, and while I was in pain and was screaming, no one helped me. The worst part is that it happened at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596 You deserved it 83

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Anonymous · 17 January 2023, 10:00 ·Australia

Trashy housemates

Today, I really upset my housemates when I opened my bedroom door to find them - and their friends - doing meth. At 2 a.m. on a Monday. I didn't even say anything, but it's drama and I just want to sleep. I start back at work in 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859 You deserved it 123

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Anonymous · 30 October 2021, 23:00 🌶️ Spicy

Overdoing it

Today, my mother is such a helicopter parent, she wouldn’t let me go to my first appointment with my new gynaecologist without being in the room, to “keep an eye on him”. When I told her to stay out, she started screaming in the waiting room that I was going to be raped without her there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365 You deserved it 113

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Anonymous · 1 June 2024, 06:00 ·Pittsburgh, United States

Major FOMO

Today, I found out yet another friend is engaged, and a few more are having babies. I'm still young and have time, and I have a wonderful kiddo and boyfriend, but I also feel left out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138 You deserved it 673

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oh. · 15 December 2019, 14:00 ·United States

Proof of love

Today, I flew cross-country to see my girlfriend of three years. Once I got there, she broke up with me. I was supposed to be staying for a month and now I have nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 538 You deserved it 192

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Ungrateful brat · 6 June 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Family vacation!

Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474 You deserved it 219

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Anonymous · 8 August 2020, 14:02

Imitation is a form of flattery. Or is it?

Today, and ever since he saw the infamous interview that was on TV the other day, every time I say something to my husband, he keeps quoting, "You can't do that!" and "You don't know that!" at me in Donald Trump's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291 You deserved it 204

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Anonymous · 16 June 2024, 14:00 ·Englewood, United States

Experimenting

Today, I woke up from a drunken daze and texted my best friend to take me back to my car. I got confused as to why our messages were green since it was iMessage. Well, come to find out I hooked up with her boyfriend in the bathroom the night before. I should mention I'm a dude, and so is he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 You deserved it 656

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Joey Soprano · 18 August 2020, 02:06

Bad boys, bad boys…

Today, I went to the DMV today and sat in line for over 6 hours to renew my driver's license. Even though with the pandemic, it's been extended to New Year's Eve but I decided to get it done and over with. I get called up to finish everything, only to find out my license is suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 293 You deserved it 560

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Jogger · 19 August 2020, 14:01

Stealth bomber

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 587 You deserved it 137

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Anonymous · 6 February 2023, 04:00 ·Argentina 🌶️ Spicy

Make it stop

Today, I hooked up with a single mother. Amazing sex, but now I can’t sleep because her baby won’t stop fucking crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284 You deserved it 1 863

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Anonymous · 27 November 2021, 02:01

Speed dating

Today, I found out that the 28 year-old woman I hooked up with a week ago is a widow and her kids, who I’ve met once, have started calling me Daddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065 You deserved it 328

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FML Videos · 29 September 2018, 00:30

Instant Regret

Patience is a virtue!

I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 398

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Anonymous · 23 December 2021, 02:01 ·Adelaide, Australia

Wait your turn

Today, I found out I’m not getting a raise, despite my ‘outstanding’ performance, since the company made a loss this year. Last year I didn’t get a raise because of COVID uncertainty. The year before that I didn’t get a raise because I only just got ‘promoted’, where I also didn’t get a raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158 You deserved it 130

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Not an anti-Semite, just a dumbass · 26 February 2023, 10:00 ·United States

Star Wars

Today, I somehow mistook the Star of David for a Pentagram. My Jewish friends were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235 You deserved it 815

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Anonymous · 20 September 2020, 05:03 ·Canada

Facebook Memories

Today, Facebook showed me pictures from five years of a happy time I had traveling with a boyfriend, who later ended our 8-year relationship by telling me he had gotten an apartment and furniture in secret, and was moving out. No warning, no reason, no explanation. He never spoke to me again. I loved him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 923 You deserved it 229

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Anonymous · 26 December 2021, 02:01

Have a Coke and smile

Today, after my 7 year-old learned at school that water that goes down the sink and toilets is cleaned and then turns up in the taps as drinking water, he is now refusing to drink it at all in case it is recycled toilet water, and if he carries on he may need to be hospitalised for dehydration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951 You deserved it 206

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