Today, and ever since he saw the infamous interview that was on TV the other day, every time I say something to my husband, he keeps quoting, "You can't do that!" and "You don't know that!" at me in Donald Trump's voice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom called me again to whine about what she heard about Trump on the news. I don't like him either and often agree with her, but she does this every 20 minutes so she can update with me. She's done this since he took office. FML
Today, for the fifth time this month, I had to explain to a group of people that yes, my name really is Donald Trump. Like all the other groups, they burst out laughing and did some Trump impressions for 15 minutes. FML
Today, I realised that when my husband is telling our boys off, he can’t think of what to say so he just steals lines from TV shows. This afternoon he told them, “Have you lost your minds? Because I’ll help you find them!” and, “I’ll be on your tails like a hot wind!” Both phrases are from The Office. FML
Today, I introduced the concept of 'mansplaining' to my husband. Ever since, he's been deliberately mansplaining every single thing to me. All. The. Time. FML
Today, I confessed to my husband that I quoted Lightning McQueen in an interview and got my dream job because of it. He wont stop laughing and telling my friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML
Today, I walked past two guys on the street. I heard one of them whisper, "Jeez, that girl looks like Donald Trump." FML
Today, my husband ended an argument with, "Do you want to know why people don't like being around you?" FML
Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jaymail 19
Yes. Anybody who has the mentality to like Trump deserves to be dumped! I see trouble down the road. Now if he’s just making fun of him then that’s OK. Trump deserves to be made fun with. I can see a whole stand-up comedy routine mimicking Trump.
millsjoshua949 12
That's obnoxious but funny.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
Jonkbaby 23
dump his as!!
Jaymail 19
Yes. Anybody who has the mentality to like Trump deserves to be dumped! I see trouble down the road. Now if he’s just making fun of him then that’s OK. Trump deserves to be made fun with. I can see a whole stand-up comedy routine mimicking Trump.
millsjoshua949 12
That's obnoxious but funny.
juggalo2 22
You must be so turned on. Tell him you feel something "Stormy" brewing.
Matthew Irmen 11
You are lucky to be the audience for all that talent