Today, I’ve been feeling like I got something stuck in my eye for hours. Nope, just one of those tiny blood vessels swollen up to the point it chafes on my eyelid. The only way I’m not in pain is by looking exclusively toward the extreme left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my contact ripped in half in my eye. One half fell out, but the other half got stuck too far under my eyelid. An hour and $100 later, Urgent Care finally got it. FML
Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I got up at 2 a.m. to pee. Searing pain stabbed my eye as soon as I opened it. I spent the next 30 min in agony, tears, and snot pouring down my face, trying to find the eyelash in my dry eye. Instead, I pulled a 2-inch long, invisible white, crinkly hair from my dog's undercoat out of my eye. SO. MUCH. PAIN. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML
Today, I rushed to urgent care after suddenly developing a dark spot in the vision of one of my eyes. Long story short, I paid $110 for the doctor to remove an eyelash. FML
Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
Today, I have a massive pimple right next to my eye. I can't even blink without hurting myself. There's also one on my thigh, so I can't move or sit down without hurting myself. And there's one below my armpit, so I can't move my arms without hurting myself. All I can say is, "Why me?" FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
Now, I’m not a doctor, but can’t help but feel like one of them should take a look at this. Because I have never heard of this happening, ever.
Hangryko 32
I hate it when that happens. Hope it goes away soon.
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Comments (5)
Anderling 33
Now, I’m not a doctor, but can’t help but feel like one of them should take a look at this. Because I have never heard of this happening, ever.
Hangryko 32
I hate it when that happens. Hope it goes away soon.
Plop 17
I don't see how contemplating communism and dictatorship of the proletariat help alleviate the pain, but hey, whatever helps with the pain. Aaaaand I just now realized whoever edited the FML thought the same thing already.
Alan Staff 59
Just riffing on the "extreme left" (sometimes I add jokes just for me)
RichardPencil 32
Well, I have a crush on AOC, so I don't see where the FML is here. Looking to the extreme left is much more pleasant since she came and took Dennis Kucinich's place.
CowgirlWithHeart 16
You have universal healthcare in Germany, go have it checked out!
mechgineer 3
there are over the counter eye drops that numb your eye lid