Maxime
Paris, France
Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML
Top comments
Nicole819 11
it might be time to call Cheaters .
JohnBoyFsYL 10
Why are we assuming it's the wife? Couldn't it be their kids?
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Comments (194)
random_cashmere 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That is a sexy situatiom
mylittlecookie 17
Actually it's most likely a cheating situation.
damnit1989 16
How do we know it's cheating? Maybe they have a son or daughter that has some explaining to do. I think a follow up is in order...
falconjade 19
I thought was neither, and a stranger was breaking into OPs house to have sex
TourettesGuyFTW 26
I thought the condoms were just taking a dip...
Derpy_Fish 17
#65 I feel like this is the most plausible answer to this situation.
mike3775 39
it could also be that these people bought the house recently, and the previous owners were the users of the condoms.
eyepuppy 31
It's not specifically stated, but I hope for the sake OP's marriage, he has some kids that have some explaining to do, or previous owners that don't know how septic tanks work.
XSimpleDesignX 18
When I first read it I thought it was a random person coming in the house or something. However reading over it again, it seems like OP is trying to make it lean more towards the wife cheating. A follow up is in order.
alphabetta 23
I'm not sure what's worse, trying too hard or not trying at all.
Rallred32 20
131 "That's irrelevant to the question, but good point!"
shyeahh_fml 19
84, I was also thinking previous owners. I don't know much about septic tanks, but my understanding is that they need to be emptied every 15-20 years or so. If that's true, then it could easily be previous owners. A cheating situation didn't even cross my mind, and I hope I'm right for OP's sake.
mike3775 39
141, you may need to pump them out every 4-5 years or so depending on the size of the tank. I would never think cheating if I found stuff in a septic tank, because not many people realize that there are screens that act as filters on the lines leading to the tank, and if those get clogged, the lines back up, which is why you need to check those filters monthly to be safe.
Silentcrafter11 13
That was my first thought, but wouldn't OP say that they have kids or not?
rawr_ily96 24
Well, apparently the guy who did the illustration believes it was a cheating situation.
nygyrfan 10
that is the most retarded idea ever
wow2mylife 25
I don't know what's a septic tank is but maybe the neighbors like though pipes but again I don't know what it is
Jaspermin12 5
Well, that sucks!
J_Man42 12
Why has this got so many down votes? It does suck! Hence why it's an FML...
Kkmars 22
It's down voted because they didn't have to comment that when there's a button for it.
amphetamin3 17
Because there's a button for that. I don't question the votes, and you shouldn't either if you know what's good for ya. Lol.
GuiLD15 7
#72 In these situations, its best to assume it's a pun. it "sucks".
amphetamin3 17
Aw, crap. I hate when I comment too late and someone already said what I was saying...and I don't notice it until later. Boo. Sorry for being your echo #73!
Nicole819 11
it might be time to call Cheaters .
laden_swallow09 35
Not yet.
jazzy_123 20
cheating didn't even come into my mind first. I was thinking maybe, if OP and his wife haven't been living there long, the previous owners did that.
euphoricness 28
Why are people thinking it's cheating? I think it's more of the fact of: who the **** flushes down condoms!
badluckalex 23
why assume cheating? for all we know they could have sexually active teenagers.
SmilieAKD 20
@123. People trying to hide condoms, would be the people flushing condoms. It's pretty obvious that the wife is cheating. Not only is someone using condoms but they are obviously trying to hide them by flushing them down the toilet rather than simply throwing them away like a normal person would. I think if OP had children or someone else that could be responsible for the existence of the condoms in the septic tank he would have mentioned it.
shadowedpixie 19
Hey, at least she HAS been using condoms. Yay for no unexpected and unexplainable STD symptoms! On the other hand, it does suck that she's likely been cheating. I'm really sorry about that. Hopefully you'll be able to work something out with her.
Mauskau 36
Seriously? If someone cheated on you multiple times in your house, you would want to 'work it out'?!
chinaski7628 32
Seriously? Where does it say the wife cheated? There are other ways for the condoms to have gotten there-- like from a neighbor.
rbalboa76 5
Neighbors usually don't share septic tanks
kaablam 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Condoms do NOT prevent STDs, why do people think that?
cleary30 13
They think that because they do HELP to prevent them.
bubblyhayley 16
maybe because every condom label, doctor and sex ed teacher tells us they do... oh and because they do!!
skipper2009 18
I'm glad I'm not the only one spotting this disturbing trend of condoms protecting against STDs.
snowby2 15
Well we also don't know how long the OP and his wife have been living there. The condoms could be the result of previous owners. The way this FML is written it does appear that the wife is cheating though.
glabberfasted 16
I can't tell if these people are serious or not... Half of the purpose of condoms is to protect against STDs. Even people with HIV can have sex with condoms and not transmit it. There's always a chance, though, due to them breaking.
That_Ginger 18
Just to clear this up, condoms will only protect against STI's transmitted via fluid.. Not ones that can be transmitted via skin to skin contact such as genital warts, syphilis, herpes, ect. It's disgusting how people at my university will have sex with somebody they know has an STI, because they think the condom will prevent them from receiving it.
SweetasCandy0609 28
#41 seriously I can believe you don't know that condoms can pretect you from Std's not all of them but they do help I guess you missed that day in sex ed try going to Google here I did just a little research for you ,.How does a condom protect against sexually transmitted diseases? A condom acts as a barrier or wall to keep blood, or semen, or vaginal fluids from passing from one person to the other during intercourse. These fluids can harbor germs such as HIV (the virus that causes AIDS). If no condom is used, the germs can pass from the infected partner to the uninfected partner.
NightHawk387 22
Although, it should be noted that lambskin condoms protect against pregnancy, but do not protect against STIs.
jujuthefroggy_fml 16
#66 : in fact, if you use condoms the right way ( meaning even for oral/anal or genital/genital contact even without penetration) it does protect effectively against most of STD's. That being said, you should refrain from having sex when hou have a STD, if it's curable or with non-contagious periods, and if you are HIV positive should be better to wait for a steady partner that understands the risk ( quasi 0 under the right medication )
pandahatt 7
not only do condoms not prevent STDs, but you can also get them from toilets!! I mean wow guys how can soooo many of you not know this?!? *sarcasm*
sonictardis 8
Do you know this from experience? sounds like those condoms expired
casual_commenter 9
#41 Clearly you paid attention in sex ed class, but I think you slept through the grammar classes...
casual_commenter 9
Sorry that is actually for #81.
Rallred32 20
41, white socks prevent you from every std!
gracefs 11
Who the hell taught you sex ed?
aarsch8 5
I learned about this last week, condoms protect from most STDs, but not all of them.
tidus_titan 7
Well according to the CDC, she is right, they do not prevent. They reduce the risk of STD's and STI's, and they are intended for pregnancy prevention. Also read the fine print on the condom sometime
joselgarciac 9
I'm sure she meant work something out like a divorce...
ExiledRemixx 13
You are stupid. She didnt just cheat she was ******* other guys. That's beyond the level of forgiveness that is **** you hate you. You don't forgive in this situation
PrettyBad 3
Honestly I agree with #4 I have no idea how see got so many negatives...
PrettyBad 3
I hate what you just said. And guys yes it protects from STDs and STIs an thank you for staff coming into this to help out with the situation.
kthsdm 12
Well, somebody's being getting some extra serving of tickle and slap. Pray it isn't your wife.
crazy_maniac69 9
and if you have any daughters, pray it wasnt them either. well at least for now...
squideth 18
Feminazi, comparing a feminist fighting for equal rights to the genocide of Jewish people. Calling out a stupid double standard is awesome, don't be ashamed of it.
SarahSehhati 40
#6 someone got too excited playing you on another FML.....
JohnBoyFsYL 10
Why are we assuming it's the wife? Couldn't it be their kids?
ItsAUnicorn 27
I thought the same thing! Don't they have grown-up children?
Nicole819 11
not trying to be a bitch but where does it say they have kids?
chinaski7628 32
It could also be from a neighbor who shares the sceptic tank. It's not unheard of, especially in rural areas, for more than one house to share a sceptic system or for one neighbor to illegally connect to another. It's not an ideal situation, though, because of things like this.
JohnBoyFsYL 10
13, it doesn't but that doesn't mean they don't...
Nicole819 11
true but we can't assume. they could be a young just married couple so in that case grown kids wouldn't be a valid factor.
vnsmoore 6
Just because it doesn't say they have kids doesn't mean that they don't....it didn't say he had neighbors but they could be doing it. and it didn't say his wife was cheating on him but everyone thought that
evilamoebaattack 20
everyone thought that? how would everyone know they don't use condoms?
kaablam 17
Can't assume? Why not! What else are we to do with this information, we must shape it, figure it out.
Nicole819 11
thank you Alan. if there were kids around old enough to be having sex, there would be no need to write the FML or even mention his wife.
juturnaamo 29
Lots of people with teens wouldn't be happy with them having any sex, even protected.
rdenkewicz 11
Maybe their kids are young enough where they shouldn't be having sex.
Rallred32 20
97 or they're underage having sex with someone who IS old enough to buy condoms, at which the police is the right answer
CaitiieBuggs 23
I don't know about where you live, but there is no age restriction to buying condoms where I live. No one would need to be "old enough" to buy them...
webslasher01 10
I'm pretty sure you can get them when your 12 where I live and a teacher mentioned something about being able to get condoms from something called family planning or some shit
ckerane 16
dont jump to conclusions , there is obviously an explanation
LaughinStock 16
Yeah, I use my condoms to blow some fine balloons.
ksks1234 33
17-- as long as you are practicing safe blowing.
HomingSnail 7
kids? the FML would have said that...
XxXBadAshXxX 27
Maybe it's grown kids? Hopefully.. Otherwise that would suck
shaww 28
So if it was their kids it wouldn't suck?
tishtashbat 16
If their kids are older teens then no, finding out they are having sex and don't know how to dispose of used condoms wouldn't wouldn't suck as much as finding out his wife has cheated on him. If they're younger teens it would suck but still probably not as much as finding out his wife has cheated.
kem95 3
*a company
buenhombre 9
Hopefully it's your kids. Good luck OP if it's not