Today, as I went to put a portion of a rotisserie chicken in the microwave, the rest of the chicken slid off the counter. I instinctively tried to catch it with my foot, which resulted in me punting it into the kitchen ceiling fan. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML
Today, I was microwaving chicken noodle soup and these ones tend to explode a lot, so I tried so very very hard to watch it carefully. I was able to microwave it fully without it exploding but after I pulled it out of the microwave, I spilled half of it onto the floor. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML
Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML
Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML
Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Kickin' Chicken? If that's not already the name of a chicken joint, you ought build one! I'd be a... ...wait on it... ...fan.
Thaylok 17
A falling knife has no handle. That stinks because you now have a much larger mess to clean than if you juat let it fall.
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Comments (6)
Thaylok 17
A falling knife has no handle. That stinks because you now have a much larger mess to clean than if you juat let it fall.
RichardPencil 32
Kickin' Chicken? If that's not already the name of a chicken joint, you ought build one! I'd be a... ...wait on it... ...fan.
SirEnigM0nk 22
So that's how chicken nuggets get made..
FluffythePink 23
Impressive. 👏👏👏
Yup2016 4
This is truly impressive, and you should be proud. I this with minimal irony, because punting a rotisserie chicken sounds like something out of the Farside!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Dude, if you wanted shredded chicken, there are easier, more effective methods to accomplish that. OMG I am dying, that is hysterical!