Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang. I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Today, while I was shaving my nose started to itch. Guess which I shaved and which I itched. FML
Today, being tired of all the shrubbery growing “downstairs”, I decided to give my lady bits a good waxing. So, naturally, I now have a tiny tear in my right labia and I'm scratching my itchy buttcrack with an old toothbrush. FML
Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML
Today, my husband caught me scratching my armpit with his beard brush. Just last week I swore that I never touch it. FML
Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
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Top comments
AndyPurdy 31
...wtf... Go take a shower
PaulChristie 13
That makes me feel genuinely sick.
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Comments (98)
Geckosrock99 33
Take a shower and shave it bald. OP. Then you can either see what you're dealing with, (or if it's just a bug or something like that) you can (hopefully) get rid of it. It's not like it won't grow back, and if you go to the doctor's, it'll make it easier for them to see what happened.
Icallbullshit90 3
'Wang' means 'cheek' in Dutch. I had to read it twice before I realized you didn't mean you had pubic hairs close to your cheeks....
pandainspandex 19
If any FML needs a follow up, it's this one!
fridaolund 13
Wtf that is absolutely disgusting i was eating lunch i am definitely no longer hungry ?
aeryn97 17
definitely not wise to moderate them either. I nearly puked mine up after reading an fml up for moderation. I'll spare you the details.
mineller 24
How thick is your pubic hair?!
gobiteme2 34
Thick enough for a creature to hide in.
moocowmilk0 19
ew... thats actually disgusting
pancakebunny 19
I was like wtf at first but then i read where it was from and it all made sense
blink831forever 13
please go see a doctor
siona 17
Um...ew?
UKRukus 12
Shower and shave. its 2016 not 1542. eww. trampy.