Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, while shopping, I suddenly got the terrible urge to use the bathroom. I already had several items and my 5-year-old niece in tow, so I hurried to checkout. I ended up pissing myself. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML
Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in Poison Ivy. FML
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Top comments
mrhahn530 0
You SCRATCHED it...what the hell is with people and thinking "itch" is a verb?
housemd1120 0
Hahahahahahaha that had to be a funny sight that sucks. Maybe you should think before you scratch
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Comments (88)
housemd1120 0
Hahahahahahaha that had to be a funny sight that sucks. Maybe you should think before you scratch
mrhahn530 0
You SCRATCHED it...what the hell is with people and thinking "itch" is a verb?
w12345 2
that is why they created the hand dryer...
purple_gurl 1
#2 ugh I know I hate it when my friends say that.
MaeeFlowers 0
Haha, look on the brightside. I'm sure you brightened someones day:)
julianak 0
I thought I was the only one!! my friends say " itched" all the time an it annoys the loving crap out of me
dearViena 0
it happenes allllll the time
Usernameis2lon 0
lol
silly_face 0
Hmmm... maybe you should have used the hand dryers to dry it instead of walking around with a hand print on your crotch??
z0mbie_9ine 0
That's what I was thinking, lol. Imagine walking into the bathroom and seeing someone with their hips thrust out and drying their crotch under the hand dryer.. lmfao; cam-phones out!!
fatality2009 0
Well you should've think before doing things with your dick or youre gonna end up like mychael jackson P.S. does this makes sence? im just being random haha
woopwoopwoop 0
I'd be a bit more worried that she HAS a dick than that she was doing things with it, if that were the case :D
fatfaceunited 0
#2 itch is a verb you dumbass. I itch, you itch, he/she/it itches. learn your parts of speech you ******* moron. http://dictionary.reference.com/dic?q=itch&search=search
brandnewkey 14
The OP was using it informally...it's not the correct way to use the word.
jdavis24 2
Haha love it!
EverdreamOfMe 24
No need to be so hateful.
bunnygirl 2
#7 the proper word is actually SCRATCHES. you lose. 'itch' is an informal way of saying it which is actually not proper
MissMae93 23
"without thinking I SCRATCHES it." Hmmm, no. That makes no sense what-so-ever. "Scratched" would be the word to use in this instance so actually, you lose.
Eros_fml 0
hahahah thats just awesome -- good thing water drys rather quickly
iknow_fml 0
lol , i love the word Moron . Anywaays. Ew and next time well , think twice . : )