Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML
Today, like most days, my cat tried to wake me up with a gentle, fluffy paw pat on my nose. This morning, however, he managed to get his claw caught inside my nostril. FML
Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML
Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
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Top comments
jellitonoctopus 19
That's actually kind of cute.
NAAMxLOOS 11
"Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets" ... Your 'cat', hmm?
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Comments (52)
coconutdaydream 7
scratchy pussy
Madden12 6
You just wanted to write pussy...... Me too.
AssTard 15
At least the cat itched your nose, even if it resulted in a little blood.
DontModMeDammit 10
Blanket monster!!!! Ahhhhh!
SkoomaKi 28
^ Ezio?
StarWolf111 21
Oh god.
jellitonoctopus 19
That's actually kind of cute.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Getting mauled is ******* adorable. I should know, I do it to others.
the_anti_hipster 7
...and this is why I'm a dog person. Kitties are cute but they have sharp claws of Satan!
yoyoforpeace 14
Really thought this was going to have a weird parent walking in twist at the end.
ShyAnn29 15
"My mom walked in to see the cat attached to my face"
Grootensliven 10
Kitty's in the game and there are no breaks. Ever
False_Stupidity 42
When at war with kitties, there is no quarter and they take no prisoners!
mystashisgone 6
I have somewhat had this problem... I am a manager at a local fast food restaurant. Now only speaking for myself, but I am just the right height and it seems that people I train aren't in the flow of things yet. So it happens more with them that I accidentally graze or touch certain parts of them on complete accident. This sometimes freaks me out because well lets say I'm an adult and usually trainees are 16-17 yrs old. However, this only happens on occasion and I make sure whoever understands it is an accident. This many times in a half hour seems suspicious.
iMeowzAlot 8
Wrong FML dude
COOL__Coal 12
Cool story bro, tell it again.
dead_insects 18
um, wrong FML
the_anti_hipster 7
Wrong thread, manager dude.
fcooper05 0
Aww, sweet kitty. I absolutely ADORE kitties, sometimes I even dress them up in those animal clothes all the other lifeless losers buy for their pets, hahaha. But I digress. You have ten times the life I'll ever have. Kitties 4eva yo. xOxOxOx
mizuki123 8
What's wrong with having a cat? My cat acts like a dog all the time.
mojogirl 4
Cats are awesome and dogs could probably do way more damage than a cat
bla102 4
I'm sorry but why would I ever give a **** on this comment? Any ideas people?
cooldude77 10
Great comment. I dont know why these morons thumbed you down!!!
akg98 13
RAAAAAWWWWRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
iMeowzAlot 8
Purr purr ************