Today, I bought myself a flower for Valentine's Day to be delivered to myself from "Anonymous". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I arranged to have some flowers delivered at work for Valentine's Day so that my colleagues will think someone likes me. FML
Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML
Today, I resorted to buying some expensive flowers and sending them to my boss anonymously with a mysterious love letter, just to get her to lighten the hell up and stop constantly harassing and berating me over every little thing. FML
Today, I ordered flowers to be delivered to my workplace on Tuesday. To myself. For my birthday. Because even though birthdays are posted in the monthly newsletter, mine gets left out every year. For the past four years. FML
Live, laugh, love no one
Today, I got flowers from a secret admirer. Turns out they were from my sister's in-laws who own a flower shop. Apparently, everyone feels bad that I'm single and they are convinced I'm gonna die alone. FML
Today, my Mom came to pay me a short visit at college. She handed me some flowers, which were a Valentine's Day gift, because she "figured I wouldn't be getting any from anyone else this year." FML
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML
Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Top comments
hoolie06 0
Only FML if someone finds out.
saranottelling 7
Oh please, I have been doing that for YEARS... ...I'm so lonely...
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Comments (183)
skullbashd 3
first
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Exactly OP, get over yourself! You're not THAT hot.
me199 0
Why would you do that? no one will know. you probably did it just to bitch about how much of a lose you are. how about this... instead of pointless flower shopping, go make friends.
IDOLGIRL 0
lmfao
powersmoke 0
Way to boost your self-esteem.
canadianbuddy_fml 0
mmm so your spouse with yourself?
me199 0
*loser
tweetbaby14 18
lol I wouldve done the same but i'm getting a PRESENT for valentines day from my BOYFRIEND
Rocco1990 0
What are you getting him tweet? Nothing I assume.
tweetbaby14 18
he told me he doesn't want anything because I make him happier than any material object ever could
tweetbaby14 18
actually he's not
IDOLGIRL 0
actually, he is... and more than likely, he'll be getting his "material" gift from his real GF later tonight
spez86 0
that is pointless I don't see why you would even go threw with this I guess to make people think you are involved with someone when yr not this is SAD haha I will laugh
rebornhunter25 0
that is totally something I Would do, **** em haha
Freeze_fml 17
Obviously he's trying to be a nice BF but deep down he's pissed because you aren't taking the hint.
WordsOfHope 0
tweet he means he wants you to, he just doesn't want you to feel you have to and doesn't understand you're a bitch. idol is right op- self esteem fail?
j0k32r0x 0
dude **** ur life
ImaginaryFoe 1
Um, tweet, actually he is. Are you actually 14? Who doesn't want a gift from someone they love?
frigginmuffin420 0
oh my god you're retarded. you're really gonna accept a gift from him? that's basically saying "I'm obviously not happy with you so buy me shit" Jesus you're eiter the blonde from hell, or just selfish. of course he wants a gift you concieded bitch. either that or he wants your vag.
tweetbaby14 18
dearest haters I am his REAL girlfriend stop trying to snickerdoodlize me
BigLostBear 0
you make him happier then any material object could, i find this hard to believe unless you sleep with him every other day. and take a hint he does want you to buy him something <_<
hpotterluvr 0
that's the thing....she's ugly and no1 likes her:( suck it up bitch!
Freeze_fml 17
If someone tells you NOT to get them a gift, then it's a sign that they WANT a gift. Someone who doesn't want a gift doesn't tell people that, they wait until the day they'd normally receive one and brush it off. F your BF's Life, tweet.
tweetbaby14 18
1. you don't know what I look like 2. I'm not ugly 3. it is possible for someone to make someone happier than any material object without having sex all the time it's called love 4. I requested that he didn't get me anything actually I'm not into the whole getting a present from your bf thing 5. I'm not a bitch if you'd stop being judgemental douchebags you'd learn that I'm a nice person
tweetbaby14 18
I'm not blonde I'm not even white and I am not selfish if you actually knew me you'd know how much I do for people and all I want in return is to know I've made a person happy I always do very nice things for my friends and family everytime I get money instead of going out to get myself something I save it for other things or go out to buy my mom an I appreciate you gift
jessica4456 0
to tweet when someone says they don't want anything that's a nice way of saying they do.defenitly on valentines day,u have to understand you DO make him happy but it's the nice gestures that make him love you even more hunn,but you wouldn't understand your only like what?14. lol.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Seriously, ARE you 14? I don't have any reason to be a hater but it's odd that you claim you are not into getting material things but you are getting flamed for bragging that your bf was buying you a present (which also contradicts your claim that you're not a bitch). And it is absolutely possible to make someone happier than any gift could but if you believe that about yourself, then by accepting his gift, are you delibrately sending him the message he's not making you happy enough?
tweetbaby14 18
ok to all the people that keep asking no I'm not 14 it is the day I was born and my lucky number
ImaginaryFoe 1
*deliberately*
tweetbaby14 18
of course I'm gonna get him something i just have no ideas about something special and sweet to give him
tweetbaby14 18
and sorry if I seemed bitchy I have a loose tooth and it hurts like hell and it's really bugging me but
ImaginaryFoe 1
Guys are simple. "Give him some sex, give him some head, make him a sandwich, and stfu!" Cliches exist for a reason. ;) Do you have an idea of what he's getting you? Keep it in the same approximate price range if you can. Video games, ipods, tix to a game are all good.
tweetbaby14 18
I know he spent $300 that I don't have on what he got me
delaney16 0
u r just making her feel worse
ImaginaryFoe 1
My apologies, I think I understand the whole "you don't have to get me anything" thing. I was broke after being on leave and my husband told me the same thing. Just do something sweet or out of the ordinary. If you can cook, make him a special meal. Cheap lingerie can be pretty (and can be ripped off). If he has a favourite activity, you can probably get something to go along with it for a relatively low price. It really is the thought that counts so think about what he would enjoy.
aznbitch 0
fail tweet. epic. fail. your being so stupid. he definitely wants something. sex. or are you too young to even say the word SEX and be ashamed. sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex SEX. fck you tweet for being an inconsiderate conceited little wh0r3.
tweetbaby14 18
how does me not having sex with him make me a *****??? and we are waiting to have sex untill we get married since you care so much
advent2060 4
lol that's pretty rare in this day and age, my guess is 1 of 3 things, #1 u guys are both extremely religious #2 ur in middle school or #3 he is "waiting" cuz he is getting it sumwhere else as for the OP FYL cuz that's jus ******* sad
zZPedobearZz 0
ugh. stop being a douchebag to tweet! there is such thing as love. now stfu and stop being off topic. as for the fml, you are seriously a loser. go eat a hotdog
aznbitch 0
agree with advent. your a ***** tweet for beinn a bitch about this ****** gift you are getting for valentines day. so what if he got you a gift; you dont have to announce it to the world. plus ur probly exaggerating. 300$, poor guy, unless he has a continous incomeor rich parents i wont believ it.
tweetbaby14 18
since you want to know so much we are the age to know about sex I'm 15 he's 18 he's religious and I respect his value to wait untill marriage and he has a job that's how he got the money for my present and as the person before you said you really don't have to focus on me and I did apologize
advent2060 4
haha no wonder he said he is waiting cuz ur jail bait lol in case u guys dnt knw this 18yr old dating a 15yr old girl is all bad and if u do have sex that's a stagetory rape charge on him regardless of mutual consent and that translates to jail time for him
tweetbaby14 18
i'm not seeing how that's funny...
tweetbaby14 18
if I wasn't real I wouldn't be saying anything and it is possible for me to be 15 and haven't lost all my baby teeth yet it's not that rare look it up on the Internet and i didn't say he doesn't expect me to get anything he said he doesn't want me to get anything because he says I've already given him enough
tweetbaby14 18
*to get him
aznbitch 0
FAIL. he can be charged for rape. FAIL. you havent lost all your baby teeth yet and your ******* 15. FAIL. you apologized for a gift. YLF. your life fails.
tweetbaby14 18
I didn't apologize for the gift smart one...
tweetbaby14 18
and he can only be charged with rape if we had sex
aznbitch 0
well that is what most are implying. sex. and whatever i saw apilogize somewhere on these comments.
tweetbaby14 18
I apologized for being bitchy
aznbitch 0
well BAM you are a bitch.
tweetbaby14 18
I don't care if that's what you think because you don't even know me
aznbitch 0
well stop lying to the whole world you fag. YOU FAIL AT LIFE. your welcome for making you feel so loved(: HAHA, just keeeeeeedin bitch.
tweetbaby14 18
shut the **** up you're so ******* annoying it's not even funny
hoolie06 0
Only FML if someone finds out.
WhatANoob 0
He posted it on this website. alot of people know LOL
hoolie06 0
Let's assume he's not the only Mike in France, lol.
hoolie06 0
Thank you. :)
saranottelling 7
Oh please, I have been doing that for YEARS... ...I'm so lonely...
ComMed 0
I can give you company
PunxsatownyPhil 0
Anonymous would never send you a flower. /b/, that is. Did I just break rule 1 or 2?
Person1233 13
I've received flowers from /b/. Maybe I'm just special :D
ImaginaryFoe 1
Both
WordsOfHope 0
-calls intercops-
serenaaaa_fml 0
omg. when u get the flowers in the mail, u gotta be like "OMG HOW BEAUTIFUL!! I wonder who they're from!!"
PsychoMerk 0
the whole "lonely-unlovable-fatkid-thing" never stops amusing me :] *hugs OP*
xundria 5
... That's just sad. instead of doing that why don't you try to find someone. Are you trying to impress someone by sending yourself a flower? Lulz.
kukitheaf 0
lulz
apfunction 0
you're pathetic. is that supposed to convince you that someone likes you?
CallMeHush 1
Like who doesn't buy nice things for themselves? And if you don't, you should. Nobody can take care of you like you can.
ImaginaryFoe 1
It's one thing to treat yourself as in: To OP From yourself because you're awesome vs. To OP From your secret admirer "OMG, look everyone! I am obviously better than everyone else thought."
CallMeHush 1
I know, I just didn't want to make a big deal of it. If she shows them off like someone sent them she is a sad little shrew.
ZombieBunnies 0
Did you hire a midget dresses as Cupid to deliver it to? if so then it's a EPIC win!
hoolie06 0
lol
irsmeagol 0
lmfao!