Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked, "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently, I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to shower together, and things were getting heated until we actually got into the shower and found my roommate's fingernail clippings all over the place. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
So rub mint chocolate chip ice cream on your dick. She'll be all over it. :]
lmmmr 0
Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to. YDI.
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Comments (180)
RJB 0
Next Time she seduces you tell her **** the ice cream lol.
amys_fml 0
come on ! it's not a fml thing... OFC SHE WAS JOKIN.. though mint chocolate chip is the best ! =p
nandothecooldude 0
you must really suck and having sex
freudianego 0
You must really suck and English.
israelnotjacob 20
Yeah, I'm sure that was just a joke, that you set yourself up for. How could she not take advantage of the chance. You made it SO EASY.
jesskuhliisa 0
hahaha this made my day!!! i guess ice cream is a top competetor :P
visage 0
Do you know anything about women? don't ask questions like that.. Do you tell her about your secret **** stash?
souldrifter 0
I don't know if she was joking. I mean, mint chocolate chip doesn't whine, doesn't leave its underwear on the floor, doesn't ask what's better it or sex, and doesn't get pissed off if you try chocolate instead once in a while.
AlexV_fml 0
hey, mint chocolate chip is the shit
shaZamy 0
YDI for asking weird ass questions over ice cream
Lisasimpsonfan 0
YDI for asking questions you don't really want to hear the answer to.