Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked, "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently, I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to shower together, and things were getting heated until we actually got into the shower and found my roommate's fingernail clippings all over the place. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
So rub mint chocolate chip ice cream on your dick. She'll be all over it. :]
lmmmr 0
Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to. YDI.
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Comments (180)
Gabby125 0
Mint chocolate chip is the best flavor out there. so it's pretty much better than ANYTHING
HotSauce_fml 0
QQ
Alpacater 0
nothing is better than mint chocolate chip ice cream. don't even try to compete.
STN_fml 0
lol, it was just a joke, no need to lose weight over it
plexico 4
If she says she prefers ice cream to sex now that she is just your girlfriend, imagine what kind of wife she'll be: ice cream will beat the crap out of sex! Do I need to draw you a picture of what that's going to look like?
Hoax_fml 0
Once again plexico is spot on. That chick is on the fast track to weight gain.
ohnoyouDINT 0
http://digg.com/odd_stuff/She_Isn_t_Going_To_Like_Thish
ohnoyouDINT 0
that's right, fatty. You tell 'em.
XOfiestypixie 0
Yes, plexico. I think you need to draw a picture. =D mostly because it'll amuse me.
plexico 4
Happy to oblige, Fiesty Pixie, Let's say the girlfriend is now a zippy-looking chick of normal body weight, say in the range of 100-140 for ordinary heights. The wedding day will set the alarm bells off. At the reception, she eats six of the dessert bowls of ice cream, slathered with liquid chocolate from the decadent fountain. She's so bloated and gassy from the pig-out that you don't get anything on the wedding night but a bunch of farts. Using the old mint-chocolate-chip-on-the-dick trick a few times, you manage to impregnate the ice cream junkie a few times. With each pregnancy, she puts on a fudge-ripple powered seventy pounds and only manages to lose twenty after each birth. Ten years from now, you've got a wife pushing 300 pounds and three boys, Ben, Jerry and Haagen. You get a vasectomy because you cannot put a kid into the world with the name of Dazs! You can't stand the sight of the puckered flesh and the spider veins, so you can only make love in the pitch dark. You think you are kissing and licking in cleavage between her once-perky breasts, but you are actually in a fold of abdominal flab and you can taste three-day-old butter pecan. She rotates her mass like a planet about its axis, but you keep licking away and you reach bits of Rocky Road. You begin to realize that her arms can't reach around her girth, so her apres-toilette hygiene has become poor. . . So, what should you do when the zippy-looking chick says she prefers ice cream to you? This is for you, Pixie, I hope you like. If anyone else does, that's a bonus.
tehredbaran 0
#110 = WIN!
ohnoyouDINT 0
#110: Win.
XOfiestypixie 0
yes! you are my hero!!
misstaylatot 0
ha, i would have said the ice cream was better too. seriously, that was a stupid question.
kurtsee 0
here a solution have sex and icecream at the same time
SomeonePosting 0
Or she's joking. But she doesn't have to be fat to be serious. I'd take tasty food over sex any day and I'm technically underweight.
akscott 0
Seriously dude, you could ask 100 women that question and 99 would have answerd the exact same.. They are finicky about that shit... That is why you were getting icecream, and not haveing sex...
lmmmr 0
Ice cream tastes good every time. Less of a gamble.
ohnoyouDINT 0
YDI for being a tampon boy and fishing for compliments.