Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked, "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently, I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to shower together, and things were getting heated until we actually got into the shower and found my roommate's fingernail clippings all over the place. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
So rub mint chocolate chip ice cream on your dick. She'll be all over it. :]
lmmmr 0
Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to. YDI.
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Comments (180)
thegate 0
confidence = a turn on. If you're so incredibly sensitive and worried, you're probably pissing her off 10x more by worrying than by actually being bad in bed.
inkedgeek 0
maybe you should lick her butter bean as well as that cone sissy boy. You don't get a round mouth by eating square meals.
ohnoyouDINT 0
YDI for being a needle-dick bug ******
16274692 0
nothing gets bigger than mint chocolate chip ice cream ;)
Vi0LENt_KiSS 0
sacrasm? hahahahaahahahaha sux for u guy
DontYouWish 0
Mint Chocolate Chip *is* pretty good.
CAITx4OH1xCORE 0
Dude, nothing beats ice-cream.
TheKitsune 0
So quit bitching and learn to have sex like a real man.
dvs01 0
When giving a joke, be prepared to take one back.
Twisted_Method 0
Bet you won't be asking that question again.