Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter admitted she struggles to keep a boyfriend because as soon as she shares with them her kink of fucking guys with strap-ons and occasionally inserting other items into them, they flee. As a father, this was way more info about my daughter's sex life than I can handle. FML
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, even though I don’t have a problem with my ex having sex, I do have a problem with her bringing dudes home, who then meet my kid, confusing him. My kid is 4 years-old asked me if the guy from yesterday was his daddy, or if I was his daddy, even though I visit him every day. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 20 year-old daughter why she can’t leave her infant son at the house on her own, while she goes out partying until 2 a.m. Her response was, “What? I’m supposed to miss the party to watch his ass?” FML
Today, I told my almost 18 year-old that she couldn’t go to a school event because I needed her to watch her younger siblings so I could go out with my sisters. She scoffed, “You have four baby daddies and not one can babysit?” and then went to the event anyway. FML
Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML
Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
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Top comments
Comet_Candy 23
Lovely daughter you have there, OP.
rockgirl7 2
Oh my God. How old is she?
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Comments (250)
StreetReaper 9
Being a father to a teenage girl, what bothers me most isn't that she's having sex, but her cavalier attitude towards it. Also, the complete lack of respect she has for herself and her father.
AcieMcG 21
Lol this was my favorite FML I moderated yesterday and hoped it would go through, troll daughter ftw!
daytoday21 10
She could also totally be lying just to get back at you.
Playboy420 0
Who says that to their father? Lol
srhornb 4
I was her first
DanielT1994 19
You didn't fail as a father OP. There's only so much you can do before her promiscuity catches up to her.
G10rEe13 1
Hahahahaha that's funny
LizzCat77 9
That is most unfortunate.
Sheh_fml 25
If you provided her age, it would have been a lot easier to figure out if she's slutty or you are just damn overprotective. Also, parents should never forbid their children from ever having sex. They are gonna do it, and most likely before they are married and wanna start a neat lil' family. So just tell them what they need to know and don't be so damn stuck up that the child is to afraid to ask for help if he/she would ever need it.
thewife5 19
If she is 30 and living in her fathers house and talking that way of feel the same as if she was a teenager. She has no right to act that way.
iwadasn 33
There's a difference between forbidding your child to have sex and forbidding your child to have sex *in your house*. It seems like OP was doing the latter because all he said was that her boyfriend couldn't sleep over. And since it is indeed his house, that's perfectly his right. She can do whatever she wants somewhere else, but as long as it's his house, it's his rules.
ellytoad 13
It would help if we knew whether she was of age or not. Being a legal adult would make sex a non-issue, with the only problem being that she was trying to manipulate her father with an immature remark.