Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he took pictures of me while I was sleeping. Instead of it being all cute like you see on social media, there's me sleeping with his dirty-ass sock on my face and him smiling in the background. FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML
Today, at work, I was caught picking my nose, on camera, in an elevator. The security guard stopped me on my way out of the building to tell me how funny it was. FML
Today, while cleaning the house, I discovered that my husband has been making a little mountain of whatever he finds up his nose on the underside of our couch when he watches TV. FML
Today, my husband sent me a short video of my snoring last night because I wanted to hear how bad I sound. The first few seconds went by OK, but for the rest of the clip I could barely hear anything else over the sound of my husband taking a long piss in our bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML
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Top comments
palahniukpaul 6
Sleep picking?
sunnyt 5
Having dreams about the Olympics? 'Digging' for the gold? >:)
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Comments (89)
I_Punch_Babies 7
Find him and delete him. I really mean him and not just the video.
KrazieKleo 13
Why? Seriously because he wants to post the video on Facebook - which is slightly wrong- doesn't mean she needs to delete him from facebook or whatever you implied...
I_Punch_Babies 7
Somebody doesnt understand metaphors...or sarcasm...or one with a dark/nerdy sense of humor.
HonestTruth 5
Yeah, I delete people all the time.
MineIsBigger 5
delete=destroy=kill=funny=lmao=thumbs up from me
SitOnMyLapNiece 1
thumbs up from me as well. that shit was funny. too bad the humor was lost on some douche who has no sense of it.
reject214 10
You sir, are a moron!
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
For clarification, since none of you seem to understand... They were joking about leaving him, not deleting him from your friend list, or killing him.
silbot 11
It's alright OP, you're a woman. There's something necessary for his survival that you can deprive him of if he does post it on Facebook.
palahniukpaul 6
Sleep picking?
brittanyxo17 0
I'd get even.
zandalee 20
Me too. Revenge is a dish best served cold. Mwahahah
zandalee 20
2- your picture totally made me smile! :)
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
28- If revenge is sweet, but best served cold, my deduction is that revenge is ice cream of some sort.
zandalee 20
Yep Kendall its hokey-pokey ice-cream. Delicious but deadly on teeth...
Screwie 25
If you don't notice, how do you clean your fingers while you're asleep?
lonkite101 14
Why would you clean your fingers?
duckiegirl21 10
She eats them.
sunnyt 5
Having dreams about the Olympics? 'Digging' for the gold? >:)
teyyoshi 19
#4, you mean gold digger?
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
27- You've never heard that term for picking your nose? I've heart it called digging for gold or treasure. C:
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
*heard
lonkite101 14
How is digging for gold an Olympic sport?
lonkite101 14
Oh sorry you meant gold medal sorry.. Thumb down my comment. ;(
drunkandfml 11
Film him doing something bad, and sees how he likes it
XKXKKXK 10
I don't understand how this is a bad thing. That seems like a real talent you have there.
Tophatz98 5
Delete the video. Problem solved
drunkandfml 11
If it was that easy, OP wouldn't have posted it on FML
emilyjgraham 34
has anyone noticed it said he WANTS to post it on Facebook? not has... at least he's being decent ish and not doing it against her wishes!
DustynSexton324 2
He can take it again genius!
MisterFML123 1
I bet she's pretty scared though!!
saywhaat12 2
Ur like 12. Delete yourself. Problem Solved.
mzmush 2
Video tape him on the toilet and see if he puts your video up
HelloGuys 4
Thats just nasty
B3Y0ND 3
23- Totally read that in Cleveland's voice...
emilyjgraham 34
41, I think that was the whole point of the post.
ImmaB3AST 7
Just get him really drunk and video tape him doing something stupid.
sweetly1120 6
What are you waiting for? Attack the guy and delete it before your life is ruined.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Life is ruined? A bit over dramatic, yeah?
sweetly1120 6
I was obviously being dramatic on purpose
AlexaWuzHere 31
Say no. If he respects your privacy, he won't post it.