Today, I finally tested out my new robot vacuum cleaner. My puppy decided she would test it out too by leaving a brown surprise for it to find, which it did. There are now brown marks in every room of the house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog pooped on the floor, and the Roomba my sweet boyfriend bought me as a housewarming gift, ran over it. FML
Today, I came home to shredded tissues all over the floor. I yelled at my dog, who looked guilty but confused. Turns out, it wasn’t him, it was my robot vacuum cleaner again. It had sucked up a bunch of tissues and napkins from under the couch and then spread them all over the place like confetti. I owe my dog an apology. FML
Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML
Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML
Today, I sleepily sprang out of bed to battle a determined off-brand rattly Roomba for the right to clear up a large puddle of cat barf. Guess who won… FML
Today, I bought a new vacuum cleaner after having to go several months without one. Immediately, I wanted to try it out. I must have underestimated how powerful it was, as it sucked up my socks and then broke. FML
Today, I decided to teach my dog not to be scared of the vacuum cleaner. I grab the handle and get it close to her. She runs off and hides behind the couch and pisses everywhere. FML
Today, it was my first night house-sitting my friend's place while he's on vacation. I was reading in bed when I heard scratching downstairs, so I called him in a panic. He told me to check the kitchen. I did. It was his automatic robot vacuum thing, which he'd never thought to mention before, and it was repeatedly trying to climb onto a slipper. FML
Today, I finally broke down and paid someone to clean my condo. Sometime after she finished, my cat threw up. Then my roomba went off, smearing regurgitated mackerel all over the freshly washed floors. There goes $150. FML
Today, my hammerhead of a dog decided to "help" me clean by grabbing the vacuum cord and dragging it across the house, knocking over everything in its path. The house is somehow messier than before I started. FML
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Top comments
david66_fml 20
For some reason I don't think puppies and robots mix
ThrottleJockey 36
The Roomba's or puppies? Clarification is desperately needed here.
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Comments (42)
david66_fml 20
For some reason I don't think puppies and robots mix
Welshite 40
I'm totally getting a cyborg puppy one day. You can't tell me they don't mix.
Tripartita 45
Only if you're good, Welshy. Now, come along and stop pulling on your leash; we've got to go recharge yo—HEY, no barking!
Welshite 40
Woof.
whatshisname1066 10
They used to say the same thing about blacks and whites
Soninuva 41
She showed you how it doesn't work well! Now you can return it and save your money!
mylove8386 12
Sounds like a shitty situation
Tripartita 45
What? How?! Because of "robot"? Or "puppy"? No, wait, is it because of "house"? Damnit! Your sophisticated humor is sailing over my head!
IntrepidPig 21
You must chill, for a pun, yes a bad one, but a pun nonetheless, must be treated forever with respect. *We've been reading Shakespeare in English, I talk like this now*
OysterPearls 33
Doggone it. Looks like it's time to call Stanley Steemer...
ThrottleJockey 36
Looks like the puppy already left a Stanley steamer.
Gigglyrocks 15
CALL 1800 STEEMER, STANLEY STEEMER YOUR CERTIFIED CLEANER!!!
I_am_Scooter 2
This one has made the rounds...
arano 29
Sounds like now you need to go back and get a robot carpet shampooer. The man planned this all along!
naviajack626 16
I especially hate it when they get stuck and die and you can't find them.
ThrottleJockey 36
The Roomba's or puppies? Clarification is desperately needed here.
ChristianH39 30
One of these is terrible and one is inconvenient. You decide.
ham_spam 17
4th fml about this
moss1030 5
Instead of being a lazy **** and spending a shit ton of money on a robot vacuum, maybe try vacuuming the floor yourself. It takes 15 minutes and you would have avoided this in the first place.
haveyou000 22
now you must clean the vacuum cleaner and in turn become a vacuum cleaner yourself
False_Stupidity 42
A vacuum cleaner cleaner to be exact.