Today, I had to explain to my 20 year-old daughter why she can’t leave her infant son at the house on her own, while she goes out partying until 2 a.m. Her response was, “What? I’m supposed to miss the party to watch his ass?” FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my almost 18 year-old that she couldn’t go to a school event because I needed her to watch her younger siblings so I could go out with my sisters. She scoffed, “You have four baby daddies and not one can babysit?” and then went to the event anyway. FML
Today, my daughter asked to go to a party and I said no, because I know some of the other people going and they're bad news. She then said she only asked permission as a courtesy, and is going anyway and just left. She lives with me but she did turn 18 last week, and I don’t know what to do. FML
Today, I went to my 19 year-old daughter’s apartment when I heard her baby crying. I have a spare key so I opened the door to find her crying in her rocker. I called my daughter and it turns out she went on a weekend to Malibu with her friends and she “left her some milk and a bowl of Cheerios. She’ll be alright.” FML
Today, my daughter asked me if I could have the kids overnight, even though I’d babysat all day, all because she just got home and was too tired to make the drive to pick them up. She only lives two minutes away. I can see her house from my bathroom window. FML
Today, I have to figure out how to explain to my 6 year-old daughter when she gets home from school that she won’t be having a birthday party anymore, because she caught daddy having it off with the babysitter, and now we have nowhere to live. FML
Today, I found out my 20 year-old daughter has a 46 year-old boyfriend. She met him at her job. When I objected, she told me that I can’t tell her “heart” what to do because she’s “grown” and “in love.” I had to teach her how to wash and she still leaves dirty pads on the floor, but sure, she’s “in love.” FML
Today, I called my sister and asked if she could watch my baby while I went to the store for desperately needed groceries and supplies. She refused, despite the fact that she's randomly dropped off her three rambunctious boys more times than I could count so she could go clubbing. FML
Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML
Today, I was hosting my daughter's thirteenth birthday party. One parent decided to stay at my house, the only parent to do so. The entire night she critiqued every decision I made, from the films to the cake. When it was time to open presents, her kid was the only one without one. FML
Today, I told my 15 year-old son that I was taking my wife to a fancy restaurant for her birthday, so he would be on his own tonight. Most teenagers would play video games, watch porn, and sneak a beer, which I would be okay with. He started crying and asked why he was "left out", then clung to my wife's leg. FML
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Top comments
Ellimac21 14
Looks like your 20 yr old shouldnt be a mother. Like seriously why have a kid if you don't want to take care of it? Call CPS, if she is like that all the time, this kid is going to be neglected.
OopsieDoopsie 16
CPS and the police need to be involved.
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Comments (11)
OopsieDoopsie 16
CPS and the police need to be involved.
great_nate 26
You trained her well.
Grincha 14
well.... congrats! you raised a dumb
Major Ahull 3
Well, she could watch his face, his tummy, or his toes. The possibilities are endless!
Plop 17
Well, time for you to start raising him and convince everyone that he's actually your own son, and that she's his sister. If everything goes right, he'll turn out to be the next Jack Nicholson, and I think we can all agree: the world needs more Jack Nicholsons.
Ellimac21 14
Looks like your 20 yr old shouldnt be a mother. Like seriously why have a kid if you don't want to take care of it? Call CPS, if she is like that all the time, this kid is going to be neglected.
mskeptik 12
Hey Texans, do you now understand that abortion must be legal?
49_Donuts 15
Sounds like your daughter never got the lesson on personal responsibility
RichardPencil 32
I'm guessing she learned Sex Ed with the Abstinence curriculum? Just a guess.
alex_jaguara 33
Another Casey Anthony in the making.