Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter admitted she struggles to keep a boyfriend because as soon as she shares with them her kink of fucking guys with strap-ons and occasionally inserting other items into them, they flee. As a father, this was way more info about my daughter's sex life than I can handle. FML
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, even though I don’t have a problem with my ex having sex, I do have a problem with her bringing dudes home, who then meet my kid, confusing him. My kid is 4 years-old asked me if the guy from yesterday was his daddy, or if I was his daddy, even though I visit him every day. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 20 year-old daughter why she can’t leave her infant son at the house on her own, while she goes out partying until 2 a.m. Her response was, “What? I’m supposed to miss the party to watch his ass?” FML
Today, I told my almost 18 year-old that she couldn’t go to a school event because I needed her to watch her younger siblings so I could go out with my sisters. She scoffed, “You have four baby daddies and not one can babysit?” and then went to the event anyway. FML
Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML
Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
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Top comments
Comet_Candy 23
Lovely daughter you have there, OP.
rockgirl7 2
Oh my God. How old is she?
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Comments (250)
iwadasn 33
It doesn't mean you failed as a father. You did the best you could, and you should keep doing it. There may be no way you can stop her from having sex, but there's no need for you to help her by allowing her boyfriend to sleep over.
Alastrina_fml 20
Look on the bright side. You have a daughter who feels comfortable enough with you to tell you that. The reality is, you can't keep them sheltered forever, so the better thing you can do is be a cool parent and keep a box of condoms in an easily accessible area. Once in a while, check the box and replace it if it's low. It's better for her to be well informed so she can make intelligent decisions, like not becoming another single teenage mom.
FairyTales_fml 6
Smacking of her life right there!! Kids suck these days...
iwadasn 33
Not necessarily. He can't prevent it, but he doesn't have to condone it by allowing sleepovers.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
You know, it is very possible that she is saying that just to wind you up. Besides, a teen who wants to have sex, will have sex, no matter what you say or forbid. Better prepare them by having a talk on safe sex and contraception. Just forbidding will only lead to teenage pregnancy and/or STDs. Show your kids you trust their judgement and give them wise guidance. It's the best way to go through that delicate time.
GetTheFuckOut 7
I guess parents aren't doing enough discipline for their children these days.
dustymuffler 5
What a *****. Sorry OP
Ajwc101 24
You can look at this two ways OP. The first way is that she has had sex with four guys, but on the plus side she is honest.
bkmo 1
if she starts charging now it'll be a long profitable career!
ramseytt69 8
This is when you call in Madea...