Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, at my job as a sailing instructor, I had to stop kids from getting their asses sucked by a pool filter. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year-olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
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Top comments
s0m3guy2010 21
No need to be so anal about it.
3040evan 2
Wow do people really do this in front of everyone.
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Comments (142)
3040evan 2
Wow do people really do this in front of everyone.
Braxton_84 3
Ever been to San Fransico?
dead_insects 18
attention.
zandalee 20
Laughs...
TheSasmaster 9
14, agreed. I've seen some pretty crazy stuff in SF and the memories are still forever burned in my mind o__e
AugustBurnsToast 14
Maybe they were just inspired by the movie Bruno hahaha
alejandrorockz 2
You're cute
mikeofthunder 13
Who gets inspired by Bruno?!
wallandpiece 16
14 - I'm there now.
ryry013 6
Is that what kids do for fun nowadays? Give eachother anal?
unhappybitch 8
This is why I hate my generation ^^
megpie20693 11
Wow I thought my job was bad. Sorry!
onlychildFTW 34
I wouldn't expect a life-guard to have to see this in their job. This is one of those weird unexpected occurrences.
folfg0 12
And I thought my job required dealing with A**holes. :/
greenie213 23
I actually enjoy my job as a lifeguard. The more unruly the patrons, the less boring it is. Yelling at people passes the time.
j_cat187 20
My day as a lifeguard was worse. Had a woman screaming at me claiming her son was bleeding out and the lifeguard before my shift refused to help him. She mentioned it was also a biohazard and she was going to sue me and the city. I called it in as an emergency situation only to find out her son had only a scraped knee.
s0m3guy2010 21
No need to be so anal about it.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
This behavior is ASS-inine. Butt I think you can end this crap by flushing them out of the pool. Edit: What the- I am a time traveler! Suck on that, 10!
EduJav321 24
Those kids are so CHEEKY Always with a GLUTE-ny for trouble Even in the FULL MOON they are up to no good
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Is this event really such a big deal-do?!
ak4608 8
*Ba dum tssss*
SkateboardGirl88 11
Yuk Yuk Yuk.
hiitisbrooke 28
That's not gay at all....
sirsquab 12
Well played
TheyCallMeDamien 18
I see techno music in their future.
Zya_fml 8
What does techno music have to do with teenagers shoving objects up each others' butts?
Blackmail111 9
It's a stereotype that all gays dance only to techno music.
ProhibitionRose 14
At least it wasn't an Elton John reference...
SofiaFaolan 8
Wow that was an unbelievably rude comment. #5 I'm sorry your brain is so underdeveloped that the only way you can see the world is by reducing it to narrow-minded, inaccurate, stereotypes.
littlemsweirdo 12
What a pain in the ass !
ajeppsen 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No, just no
rcloca 10
Oh, but yes.
Bloink 25
butt* yes
DeadxManxWalking 27
I'm sure the objects see a dark future
antmanzero 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No. They're objects. They don't see. Nice try though!
Voldy_fml 16
You both tried too hard.
flashback.miss 28
'Anal'... Stifferman, anyone? (someone please get the reference) But, hopefully you had fun explaining that to their parents(if they were around).
subwaysurfers 13
Um....I don't know it...please don't kill me! The knife is heading towards me.... NOOOOO
flashback.miss 28
Ok. go on youtube. search stifferman and click on the one with the user name mr.creepypasta. Do NOT read comments until around 4:30-5:00 or so. (note. I have not listened it in its entirety, but still.
laden_swallow09 35
If you have to explain an obscure reference, the joke loses the funny.
Braxton_84 3
"Who is Anal?" -- name that movie
PeteyPablo12308 20
No
Kajol123 5
Sounds like a disgusting "mystery porno movie".
mickey048220 7
Employee of the month
Braxton_84 3
101, Thank you! The rest of you are no fun.
hiitisbrooke 28
The **** FML staff? My comment was removed right after I posted it