scratchpost
United States
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
cdn_steed
United States
Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
Anonymous
Rise and shine
Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML
Anonymous
Pittsford, United States
Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Anonymous
Cujo, but for cats
Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Anonymous
Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
tornkhakis
Bloomington, United States
Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML
meowmeow
Australia
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
patronuscat?
Meow!
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Top comments
nswan 5
lucky cat...
steelersfan32 0
ydi for having boobs hard enough for a cat to sharpen them on.
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Comments (132)
LoveAlways27 0
ouch!
hotair10 9
yeah, that pretty much sucks
WishResign 0
YDI for petting it under the blanket grossing your roomate out. now your cat's getting you back for embarrassing it like that.
bailes_o_hay 0
wrong FML my friend
KiddNYC1O 22
Scratch your pussy.
Bloodberry 0
the pussy just wanted some pussy?
carlog 0
Maybe your pussy just needed some attention.
innerexlet 0
sorry 27# perdix is never THAT bad
Haterman123 0
the pussy wanted to have some boob time :p
pinkpillowz 0
31- wrong fml! but they were both about cats...
zyzter 0
read it again 80, I think they meant to put it here
untoward 0
tough titty said the kitty but the milk was still good!
nathan5 0
i believe he was sharpening your breast with his claws...not sharpening his claws on your breast
nswan 5
lucky cat...
agm2010 0
she likes it rough(;
zinoxity 23
4 - That's what I thought.
MrFancy 0
Grope!
baconhawkman 0
exactly
sloppy3301 3
lucky only if their big :D
persianlovaaa691 0
wow #4 fkin sexy
TheBestManEver 0
So much for foreplay...
QTp13 10
*cringes* I hope you are ok OP -_-
mintcar 10
Ouch. That really blows.
lovethatpanda 0
Shin Chan is amazing.
mintcar 10
Ouch. That really blows.
jlynn97 0
hahaha that's a nice cat.
lovely_asian 0
bad pussy cat! lol that must have hurt a lot though :/ sorry op
wolftastic 0
you're cute:)
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
Careful with those!
DarkHelmet 10
Not the *******!!!! Bad Kitty BAD!!!!!!
ksummerville91_fml 0
he was just giving her a check up, it is October...
friker 0
dumb.
UsmcDevilDogs 0
to whoosh wats ur rank I'm cpt. sniper also recon u
DarkHelmet 10
who is whoosh?
yuhimjesus 0
calling bs on 84. A captain would be able to spell.