Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML
Today, I had a very good-looking guy ask for my number while I was at work, but due to our policies I had to turn him down. FML
Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pleonasm 36
He wasn't able to go out with you but he was still able to dump you.
SharnaaaBanana 22
That's disgusting. Who does that.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (131)
Stargenx 6
It's how you tell people you don't want them in the neighborhood.
GirlGamer12345 22
*tells neighbors* "see that guy? I don't want him here" Please tell me what that would even do?
ScarlieC 25
#1, thanks for the Cartman advice. Have forgotten all about that South Park episode until now.
incoherentrmblr 22
Thumb this down for no reason...
DaLiquer 20
Someone should've rubbed his face in that shit!
Demig0d6 14
And make him eat it
addictedtosorrow 12
Actually that's a little too far.
incoherentrmblr 22
At least it wasn't in a bag and on fire...
SharnaaaBanana 22
That's disgusting. Who does that.
xlord 27
Apparently the guy who asked for OP's phone number.
Enslaved 38
Or the number he was asking for was her #2?
sweetest_jenn 18
He was butt hurt about getting rejected.
badluckalex 23
I do that with friends to **** wth people we dont like XD
bfsd42 20
85, you are an idiot.
moonzombie 13
#85, are you twelve?
amazingrose 4
idiots that have really gros minds I guess
izzie321 27
Well.... Shit.
Pleonasm 36
He wasn't able to go out with you but he was still able to dump you.
warsun 27
And this is why I love this guy
\ 28
"Hit on Debra!" (Like a boss) "Get rejected!" (Like a boss) "Shit on Debra's desk!" (Like a boss)
schadenfreud 6
were you even buying tp?
brandoneyez1 25
I guess he is no longer interested either!!!
Mynamewontfi 40
Well, that's an original way of him to show that he's not pleased.
zandalee 20
Imagine if OP was engaged to this guy and broke it off... Would he hunt her down and attack her? Sounds like a mentally unbalanced person to me. I would probably report him to the police.
lbrown66 12
What a shitty situation! ....I'm sorry
Puffytruffles 18
Your death shall be honoured, soldier. Look here everyone, a brave soul who's courageously taken the shot for his comrades. Yours and the inevitable sacrifices of future comrades will never be forgotten. Lest we forget.
silvercamaro 22
I knew this comment was coming before I even opened the comment section, smh.
onlychildFTW 34
You tried too hard puffy.
Puffytruffles 18
I guess I did, huh. :/
JAKASS200 5
You should feel sorry...and bad. Sorry and Bad
liketenpandas 6
and you, Jackass sir, should just leave.
WordAficionada 19
Some people just can't take rejection, FYL OP!
SystemofaBlink41 27
No, there are people who can take rejection, people who can't take rejection and people who shit on your doorstep .