Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML
Today, I had a very good-looking guy ask for my number while I was at work, but due to our policies I had to turn him down. FML
Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
He wasn't able to go out with you but he was still able to dump you.
SharnaaaBanana 22
That's disgusting. Who does that.
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Comments (131)
lina21 12
Did you call the cops? That's potential stalker
elyssa112 6
You shouldn't have sent straight home if he was following you .
awkward_gothlady 32
All the more reason not to go out with him...
BaRirA 7
that's a first...
Omniprism 15
Um did you not notice he was following you? Cause now he knows where you live and could do much worse than just ******** on your doorstep. You might call the cops and report it and ask for some extra surveylance. Learn to use all your senses so this doesn't happen again. Good luck.
name_loading 19
This reminds me of a story I heard. Apparently some women caught her husband cheating on her so she took a dump on the floor. Maybe they're brother and sister.
Drnavid 13
I guess that's when you literally you can say " I had shitty day! ".
KaylaTackett 18
Why would you lead someone who is following you to your house?
limabeans101029 21
Maybe she didn't notice him following her, they could've been driving and she didn't happen to notice that it was the same guy.
GamerPerson 19
I hope you took his pic and called the police to show them. He had no right to do something like!
mattatom17 10
Is that supposed to change your answer?