Today, it’s my girlfriend’s birthday. I took her out to her favorite restaurant to celebrate. The waitress serving us looked oddly familiar but I didn’t think anything of it until she said when we collected the check, “Aren’t you my sister’s husband?” I forgot she had a younger sister who worked here. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a friend’s Friendsgiving party with my girlfriend. When I got there, I saw my wife’s supervisor from her job. He recognized me, too. When I tried to save face saying my girlfriend was my sister, she got upset and corrected me. Way to throw me under the bus, babe. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to Outback Steakhouse. We went to one outside of town because my wife works at our local one. When we got there, guess who we saw? I forgot she transferred to another location, which just happened to be this one. Goddamit. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend’s birthday. I was invited to her surprise party and we got there before she arrived. When she came in, she asked the waiters where her friends were, then said, “I saw your head at the end of the restaurant.” She mentioned my head multiple times. I have a big head. FML
Today, I appreciated how much my older sister is engaged and fully appreciative of how wonderful my girlfriend is… until my girlfriend told me that she has a huge crush on my sister. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML
Today, my sister was meant to come over for lunch for my birthday. Turns out, she forgot about it. FML
Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend’s family dinner when her father suddenly raised a glass and said, “Let’s all raise a toast to the new couple!” I looked at my girlfriend, confused, only to realize he meant her brother and his now fiancé, who had just announced their engagement an hour earlier. I quickly but awkwardly raised my glass to avoid admitting my memory is dogshit. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
Another day, another cheater suffering the consequences of their very own actions. I genuinely hope she tells your wife everything and she takes you to the cleaners.
alw123 3
How do you not know your sister-in-law?
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Comments (8)
Anderling 33
Another day, another cheater suffering the consequences of their very own actions. I genuinely hope she tells your wife everything and she takes you to the cleaners.
alw123 3
How do you not know your sister-in-law?
Dumbum123 19
This site is reasonably popular, I assume. Yet, for some reason, cheaters post on this thing expecting what exactly? Also, I assume your sister-in-law was at your wedding and other social activities that included your ex's family at some point during your union. My question is: HOW THE HELL DO YOU NOT RECOGNISE HER!?!?
FluffythePink 23
Karma.
JasonThorn 23
More like Freight-Train-ma...
noonereally 6
I hope your wife wrings you dry
RichardPencil 32
"No, you have me mistaken for someone else."
Crowned Sataness 12
why do cheaters always expect sympathy for cheating? if you're not ready for monogamy you shouldn't have married a monogamous partner
JasonThorn 23
I suspect narcissism to be a factor.
CJMajor86 9
Good job. Gold star effort for being a crappy cheater and getting busted in public. Duh.