Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, during sex I said my side dick's name instead of my boyfriend. He isn't speaking to me now. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
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Top comments
Exodiafinder687 58
Just make sure you have some lube in case Willy wants to visit his chocolate factory.
challan 19
Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do... He has the perfect penis for you. Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-dee... If you are wise, you'll listen to me. What do you get when you guzzle down cum? Eating and getting it in the bum. Why are you at getting terribly sore? Because he thinks your his personal *****.
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Comments (77)
dawood_k 27
He is a free willy
cryssycakesx3 23
he has a free willy to call it what he wants.
Polynomial 28
Mine has been named Mr. Happy.
xninix_fml 36
And we should care why? Haha
paigexox0 37
Thats the biggest turn off, im so sorry.
cryssycakesx3 23
I agree with this. it's not a separate person to be called he/him or little "name"
DJSam909 8
I used to call my penis Mr. Willy Wonka...when I was like 7.
wattsthepoint 12
Quality man.
StressedDesserts 17
Name yours Miss ****** and refer to it in 3rd person as well lol
shfs2010 4
You like dating a dude like that? It's only going to get worse.
HeroofWinds1 13
What if willy is another person 0_0
iAmPaul 49
By default, he can only refer to it in the third person.
raininginseattle 9
Your boyfriend is mean. Making poor Mr. Willy do push-ups until he threw up.