Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, during sex I said my side dick's name instead of my boyfriend. He isn't speaking to me now. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
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Top comments
Exodiafinder687 58
Just make sure you have some lube in case Willy wants to visit his chocolate factory.
challan 19
Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do... He has the perfect penis for you. Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-dee... If you are wise, you'll listen to me. What do you get when you guzzle down cum? Eating and getting it in the bum. Why are you at getting terribly sore? Because he thinks your his personal *****.
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Comments (77)
FroggerForReal 11
is that not seductive?... O.o
Tannasgh 22
Lame...I would think that "Russell the Love Muscle" is much more manly...
olruthless 10
And the problem is?
Axel5238 29
Depends how long you've been together this shouldn't be a surprise. Though I'm guessing you never thought his dumb stuff you laughed at would wind up in the bed room as well. Get out while you can he's not gonna get why it's bad timing.
MRSwick2525 23
Little extreme to tell her to get out while she can just because he calls his junk "Mr Willy". Chill Dude
JustTheFacts 5
This just gives me the willies.
kalbrek009 20
What a dick move. JK. Sounds like he's not quite mature enough for sex, much less a relationship.
Silk_Routes 14
get impressed by Mr. Willy ;)
erichanoki 13
Just...no. Dx ∑(ノД
jubinsn5 1
I think he is a gay...
jdykid 13
I call mine Brock the ****