Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, during sex I said my side dick's name instead of my boyfriend. He isn't speaking to me now. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
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Top comments
Exodiafinder687 58
Just make sure you have some lube in case Willy wants to visit his chocolate factory.
challan 19
Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do... He has the perfect penis for you. Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-dee... If you are wise, you'll listen to me. What do you get when you guzzle down cum? Eating and getting it in the bum. Why are you at getting terribly sore? Because he thinks your his personal *****.
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Comments (77)
Javi219 3
I call mine Mr Wiggle
maddieex 14
Free Willy!
captainsmegma 12
I call my Richard which is long for dick.
R2Y2 22
Mr willy wants to penetrate
dakotaabriannee 14
Yeah, that name needs to go. Time to Free Willy!
Lunarlilly 12
Lot of guys do that outside of the bedroom but yea it sucks for you for him to do it in the bedroom
False_Stupidity 42
Mr Willy puts on his diving suit as he prepares to explore the dark, wet ****** cavern.
vintageart1994 16
Lol that's actually hilarious. You should just be happy ur having sex. :p
joe3_fml 15
Mr willy looking a bit silly in all his 3 inch glory!
Helen_1988 6
Oh dear! Completely empathise with you what a turn off!