Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
Today, my coworker asked to borrow my nail clippers so he could take care of a hangnail. He went to the bathroom, which I thought was polite, but when he got back to his desk and returned my clippers, there were little curly hairs stuck inside. He's bald. FML
Today, while making out, my clean-shaven husband pulled away because he could feel my lip hairs tickling him. I thought he was making a joke so I called him a tosser and walked away. Later I checked in the mirror and there they were, two black hairs swinging in the breeze right under my nose. FML
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, I got a popcorn kernel stuck in my throat. It was quite irritating so thought I could get it out with my finger. Good thing, the kernel is gone. Bad thing, I now have the rest of my lunch on my shirt as well. FML
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Top comments
dalink 24
So, he was wanking it and then decided to shove that hand in your popcorn? Yep, time to urinate on his toothbrush... Daily.
TheDrifter 24
Free tooth floss? What a kind person.
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Comments (71)
kee_breezy32 34
sorry to hear that OP! that's really gross.
PuggieKid 22
It made me gag
Baytheshark 14
15, we understood when you posted the same comment the first time.
PuggieKid 22
Sorry . Phone glitch :(
ironichalibut 24
I've done that too, the app has a few glitches like that, it's not that big a deal..
HOPPE612 5
But how could she tell it was a pubic hair?
TheDrifter 24
Free tooth floss? What a kind person.
iAlissa 34
Have to keep up on oral hygiene you know!
solus_fml 12
Especially handy for the annoying bits of popcorn that get stuck between your teeth.
dalink 24
So, he was wanking it and then decided to shove that hand in your popcorn? Yep, time to urinate on his toothbrush... Daily.
ironichalibut 24
Use his toothbrush as a pubic-comb, that'd be a fitting revenge
iAlissa 34
Why not both?
Fuji76 15
#3, I'm assuming since OP is female, her roommate is too. She said her roommates friend was a guy....maybe fwb? Maybe they had just got it on, at which point that adds a whole other level of grossness....but maybe I'm reading too much into it.
T1A2Z3 35
He's her roommates friend. Where will she find his toothbrush??
wowthatissad 9
Holy **** how disgusting. It's good to know that people wash their hands after going to the bathroom and touching their dicks.
kee_breezy32 34
#6, or either some guys just run their hands thru the water without thouroughly washing them -_-
Enslaved 38
But do they all wash their hands after just scratching their balls? I just learnt that all balls itch.
PuggieKid 22
This made me gag
Baytheshark 14
You didn't find it refreshing that some people care so much about hygiene? Freak...
Baytheshark 14
Could have been yours OP.
JtPv 14
But...how? Wait, I don't wanna know. ._.
mackdeezy 22
Reminds me of the one with the guy who's roommate jerked it and ate out of his doritos before washing his hands.
Smoldering 15
You beat me to it :) I was thinking the same thing.
RedPillSucks 33
Well, someone was beating something...
monkeycrutch 14
Bitch slap time!!! Gross!!
ApollosMyth 22
He's no longer there.
obsquire 5
That's absolutely disgusting.
joea21 21
Tell him to keep the extra toppings in his pants next time.