Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML
Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
Today, after 2 years of searching, I finally have a job that I love. Now I'm probably going to lose it because I started having sex with one of my managers, and our coworkers are starting to catch on. They caught on pretty much the day I told him that we should stop having sex so we wouldn't lose our jobs. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
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Top comments
panicked 0
so the condoms are just piling up? give them to hobos in need or something.
um_duh 0
Perhaps you need to get out more & find ladies you can test the product on? If all else fails get yourself a blow up doll ;)
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Comments (136)
pleasetryagain 0
I feel like this FML is more suitable summed up as "I can get all this free shit, but I can't use it."
dannymaxx 0
#41 she tests them to see if they work she gets laid for a living
adelaide_evening 0
Maybe you could find something else to use them for. I hear they make good water balloons. You can beat people senseless with them before they actually pop.
helloitisme 0
who cares about getting laid ...? sex is not everything in life. seriously? come on.
tukker 0
and who's fault is that?
MajorTom85 0
Yeah, I feel like saying you work for a condom company could be a good conversation starter. Plenty of lines of conversation to explore. "Test the product" and all those lines. Also, depending upon how long you've lived there it may not be such a big deal.
yaa 0
There are more important things in life.
littlemisslee 0
If you work for durex, your condoms suck. But, you wouldn't know that, would you....
Some___Guy 0
So? How long have you worked there? How old are you? Not enough information.
jd0g07 0
Well man sometimes life gives you lemons and sometimes it gives you condoms. You just gotta say **** the condoms and put it in her mouth!! Suuckaaaa!!! Hahahah