Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my coworker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she went to the manager and accused me of sexual harassment. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, I got fired from my job. I caught a customer taking pictures up my skirt, and my boss fired me for calling the police and "making a big deal out of it". FML
Today, I was terminated from my job. This comes after I sent HR an email about an inappropriate relationship between my manager and a counselor. Seems like I should have kept my mouth shut. FML
Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML
Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML
Today, I had to reprimand an employee for her bad attitude and terrible work performance. She went to HR and said I harassed her for being gay. Guess who they believed. FML
Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML
Today, I got told I was a bitch because I wouldn’t let a homeless man dig through my dumpster at work, even though he was hungry. We don’t even sell food. I work at a sex store. FML
Today, I was suspended from work. Some lady went to the manager and told them that I was stalking her, all because I would kindly greet her everyday at the grocery store. I'm the cashier. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
This is when you file a complaint for unfair dismissal, tell your boss she's old enough to know better, and threaten a lawsuit. Oh, and kudos.
cazziuz1983 9
Forthose of you saying he shouldn't have bought from where he works, one word... Discount. For the rest if it, OP you need to look into legal aspects of this, if they fired you for that complaint alone, then something shady is going on.
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Comments (39)
BurnInDemonFire 39
This is when you file a complaint for unfair dismissal, tell your boss she's old enough to know better, and threaten a lawsuit. Oh, and kudos.
MamaChey 24
Great advice. Now you’ve just instructed OP to call his boss old. Trust me, that’s how she’ll take it
Emma Marshall 19
No... ^
coolmike699 26
Unless OP has a contract with the company, they're SOL. The company's HR are who fired him, so he can't complain to anyone. Unless he can prove (and the burden of proof is high) that he was fired for a protected reason (race, religion, etc.), he is just screwed.
BurnInDemonFire 39
You're old enough to interpret my comment correctly.
Vita_1 30
Actually from a legal standpoint it’s not sexual harassment unless it’s recurring and is bad enough to change the work environment in a hostile manner. Unless he was constantly flirting with his coworkers and his boss this doesn’t constitute sexual harassment so he can file a wrongful discharge claim.
Matt Haagensen 11
It doesn’t matter who fired him, it’s the reason, unrightful dismissal is illegal
ViviMage 40
You realize most men can't use XL condoms right? Very few men actually *need* that size. If it was me, and I really do in fact use that size, I'd go to another store I don't work at to avoid this awkward situation. It does come off as cheeky/boasting if nothing else.
PenguinPal3017 19
Victim blaming! He should definitely sue.
skippydoda 32
Actually most xl condoms are about 1/4 inch larger than regular and are designed to appease the male ego.
onceuponatime456 16
Oh f*ck off!
Milou 5
"Most men can't use these and are just boasting, I, on the other hand, Steve McHugecock..." 🙄
thelittlem 15
doesn't count when your dick is wider than it is long. chode boy.
ellyhan 11
I love how he clarified that they were XL condoms. 😂
RichardPencil 32
You shouldn’t buy condoms from people you know.
PenguinPal3017 19
I used to work at a gas station, people who I knew bought condoms there. It's not a big deal at all. But I already knew you were immature from your previous comments ;)
cazziuz1983 9
Forthose of you saying he shouldn't have bought from where he works, one word... Discount. For the rest if it, OP you need to look into legal aspects of this, if they fired you for that complaint alone, then something shady is going on.
onceuponatime456 16
Sue them!
Johnny5 16
Extra large condoms are just a marketing gimmick. You just wanted to tell her you’re “extra large”. A regular sized condom fits over your entire forearm because they stretch and are already extra long to be one size fits all.
PenguinPal3017 19
Are you stupid? There's no bone in the penis! It would be uncomfortably tight. I will sit on a wood chair, that doesn't mean I'll rest my head on a wood pillow. Common sense.
PenguinPal3017 19
You should definitely sue. This is not okay. It's scary that people actually voted "you deserved it". I hope that you win millions OP.
GreenReaper 13
If OP works in retail, the odds that they win millions in a lawsuit over this are 0%.
live_to_love 25
Why people are just crazy ? They have no idea how they can ruin lifes... Sorry to hear that and hope you will find another job where no one is mentally ill and use the #metoo with no reason although there are real victims.
Matt Much 12
Sorry, but when I worked retail, that's one of many reasons I would never shop where I work.
PenguinPal3017 19
If you get a discount it's a real shame not to. So much money thrown away. You shouldn't be fired for buying something.