Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML
Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
Today, after 2 years of searching, I finally have a job that I love. Now I'm probably going to lose it because I started having sex with one of my managers, and our coworkers are starting to catch on. They caught on pretty much the day I told him that we should stop having sex so we wouldn't lose our jobs. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
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Top comments
panicked 0
so the condoms are just piling up? give them to hobos in need or something.
um_duh 0
Perhaps you need to get out more & find ladies you can test the product on? If all else fails get yourself a blow up doll ;)
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Comments (136)
thefauxjew 0
yeah, condoms are usually bad luck for me too.
DanIsTheMan 1
can you send them my way please, im sick of buying them!
bluegoldfish 7
free at all good family planning clinics :) no seriously, if you look like you might be at all young and irresponsible their anti-teen-mother-ness kicks in (and fair enough) and they give you like 20 each
NoMercy_fml 0
At least you're saving the company money. Just do really good work and get promoted to a really high position and soon you'll be getting so much pussy you'll need to hire a pimp to organize all those bitches.
Diamondlightbulb 0
Cinderella, wtf is up with you and 24788? Seriously! Go fall in a hole.
elen25 0
who said working at a condom company will help you get laid? sheesh
jeri2011 0
Unless you got laid the day before you got the job then it's not the work's fault. Also, if you're not going to use the free samples then give them back, or at least give them to someone else who would actually use them. Don't let them go to waste.
chippa 24
Well you never mentioned how long you've been working there for. Who knows if you just started this morning?
yaintime21 0
I agree with #37.
funsize003 0
ahhh number 8 i agree! :) lol
xox_what_now 0
Cinderella Down girl That's a pic he found online Not him