Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML
Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
Today, after 2 years of searching, I finally have a job that I love. Now I'm probably going to lose it because I started having sex with one of my managers, and our coworkers are starting to catch on. They caught on pretty much the day I told him that we should stop having sex so we wouldn't lose our jobs. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
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Top comments
panicked 0
so the condoms are just piling up? give them to hobos in need or something.
um_duh 0
Perhaps you need to get out more & find ladies you can test the product on? If all else fails get yourself a blow up doll ;)
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Comments (136)
lissygirl 0
I moderated this one! Haha sucks though.
YANKS2728 0
hey boys check out my profile if you wanna "hook up;)"
yupitssoph 18
Haha I love finding FMLs that I've moderated.
Manny_B92 0
Wow... it's a curse! cool 2
Crlnprz 11
maybe he got the job because hes such a dick. haha get it. cheesy pun no.. no? okay...
CinderElla21 0
No need getting one then!
um_duh 0
Perhaps you need to get out more & find ladies you can test the product on? If all else fails get yourself a blow up doll ;)
24788 7
Well have you been trying?
Brittaneyyy 0
#5 wow ur hot
emodude44 0
121 wow your hot!
panicked 0
so the condoms are just piling up? give them to hobos in need or something.
xXCrazyPersonXx 0
^WIN!!
yupitssoph 18
I say he take the giant basket of unused condoms he most likely has in his room and walk down the street and just start flinging them at random couples and hobos.
lilpsyco 16
It can become a new a new holiday like Christmas except instead of a bearded old man it's a young horny guy that throw condoms at couples in need
FweakofCydonia 40
I'm imagining OP running down the streets and throwing them up in the air like confetti. Everyone wins!
catacombhome 0
Condoms suck anyway... You're not missing out on rubbery sex. The pull out method has yet to fail me
CinderElla21 0
oh my gosh "24788" your hot!!!
Turfin 0
i know right i went horny and culdnt breath
sovietkiwi 0
lomg me too
sovietkiwi 0
lomg me too
yupitssoph 18
His hot what? Or did you mean to say "you're hot," as in, a contraction of you are.
WhiteDelight 4
well, you could open up a few and leave them around your house so atleast your parents won't realize how lame your life is.
colourmealy 0
what's with all these fml's about not getting laidd? really, who gives a shit. just go to a club and pick up some bimbo