Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML
Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
Today, after 2 years of searching, I finally have a job that I love. Now I'm probably going to lose it because I started having sex with one of my managers, and our coworkers are starting to catch on. They caught on pretty much the day I told him that we should stop having sex so we wouldn't lose our jobs. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
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Top comments
panicked 0
so the condoms are just piling up? give them to hobos in need or something.
um_duh 0
Perhaps you need to get out more & find ladies you can test the product on? If all else fails get yourself a blow up doll ;)
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Comments (136)
bkovar 0
sell em! haha nah u probably cant, right? well, once you get a chick ur prepared at least!
_ImNotBroken_ 0
This makes me giggle :)
angrymole 0
I wanna work there lol! free condoms!
rbar1293 0
45, don't say that just because you aren't getting any. All you women need to calm down. Did he say he works at a condom company to pick up chicks, no. All he said was that it was ironic that he hasn't gotten laid ever since he's had access to free condoms.
Tsukasa_fml 0
#37 said exactly what I was thinking. How long have you worked there?
illeyad 0
i don't get how this is an fml- and it has nothing to do with weather i am getting any or not. Simply put, there are so many ppl on fml complaining about their sex life.
Vampire_princess 0
Quit?
master565 0
Shitty job
spongebobpuffer 0
Fyl for having a shitty job;) But u get free condoms.pass them out to ur friends. N Cinderella u r hot.
FunkyVerb 0
Why does this post start with the word "today?"