Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with the team I lead and some of the bigwigs. I was discussing our recent successes, when one of my underlings decided to be a clown and made a dumb pun. The bigwigs all snorted and one said, "The half hour of boring drivel was worth it for that." FML
Today, I ordered custom birthday balloons online. The company printed my age as 82 instead of 28. The balloons arrived on the morning of the party, and there wasn't enough time to replace them. My guests spent the evening asking about my "remarkable longevity." FML
Today, I bought some party poppers to surprise my roommate to celebrate her recent promotion. I pulled one the strings too early, in the lobby of our building. A hundred tiny paper stars rained down while my neighbor, who had just spilled her grocery bag out of fright as she entered the building, yelled at me like I was a lunatic. FML
Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML
Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tj4234 36
I don't see why this is FYL, considering it wasn't you that did it. Also, that's a real waste of Johnnys
Harpy20 24
Well if he was dense enough to screw up that badly, he definitely deserves to be fired. Turn him in before he takes you down with him.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
tj4234 36
I don't see why this is FYL, considering it wasn't you that did it. Also, that's a real waste of Johnnys
alphatoomega 21
That kind of misstep on the part of one employee could result in the merger not happening.
livewire1701 8
Not to mention if he was in charge of organizing the party it can still come down on his head.
noreallywhat 17
Yeah because the CEO is only going to get mad at the employee who did it. Not take out his anger on everyone who works under him.
ohSNAPyall 27
I don't see what the big deal is either. Fix the problem with a little prick.
DyslexicPanda 12
Not to mention expensive #1
lambda_fml 40
Your colleague was just scared and used Protection to impress Mr Dick.
waffule365 16
At least it was your dumb ass co worker and not yourself.
letsgooo_fml 23
At least it wasn't you.
whaleninjamaster 7
Look at the title! A Dicky Situation!
iAlissa 34
*facedesk*
maosquare 18
Look at 8's username! whaleninjamaster!
Attica 20
I picture Barney Stinson's company as a setting for this event.
Adamantablade 8
Proabably Halliburton
Harpy20 24
Well if he was dense enough to screw up that badly, he definitely deserves to be fired. Turn him in before he takes you down with him.
hama806 19
Absolutely! Get the dumb **** demoted or even fired. On a less serious note, that was hilarious. Too bad it was done at an inappropriate time.
Ctrl_H 18
F the bosses life not yours. Or even f your colleagues life. You have nothing to do with it you just watched.
Supganosh 2
"Or even 'f' (****) your colleague's life." And the last sentence is fine. 'Tis a sad day when the people correcting other people don't even seem to understand english.
Fluffydemise 18
I think English or American people who correct people's grammar are quite sad little individuals. ...I'm not sure how to categorise a non native English speaker correcting peoples use of the language. Hint: it's not good.
NeatNit 33
please don't make this situation any worse than it is. you're making a fool of yourself.
amDes 11
I like how you're getting upset when people started correcting you after you started it by correcting someone else. How quickly the shoe goes on the other foot.
AurumPotestasEst 16
The last sentence should have a comma or an ellipsis... but, other than that, it's fine.
RedPillSucks 33
Sounds like OP was probably "in charge" of the party and delegated his colleague to get the balloons.
ozpunker 20
It seems like your colleague is the dick.
gurly98 13
Actually OP is the dick. Why would he rely on his dumbass coworker to do something that he could've done in less than one minute.
lachy15 15
I guess you could say it was a......Dick Move.
Shenanigans9 8
The co worker was a total... Jerk-off do do something like that.