Anonymous
Mexico 🌶️ Spicy
Use the force
Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Nottingham, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Get it where you can
Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML
padmelover
He knows the price of everything and the value of nothing
Today, my dad said I need to stop playing with toys and threw my lightsaber out of the window. It was a replica of the Lightsaber used by Mark Hamill, made from the same type handle from a 1970s camera, just like the film prop. It was over 40 years-old and worth thousands. Not anymore, as it's now scratched and in two pieces. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
One size fits all
Today, I bought an electric sex toy to make masturbating more interesting. My penis wasn’t long enough to reach the moving massaging parts on the inside, and just pathetically rested a few inches inside the opening. I could call it a bad design but I’d be lying, I just have a small dick. FML
TeeJay
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
Taylor
United States 🌶️ Spicy
War drums
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML
lopez
France 🌶️ Spicy
I think we're alone now
Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden, I heard a familiar voice, saying, "At least someone's having fun…" It was my boss. FML
rastafarimon
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML
a
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
Average Lover
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
Top comments
LukeFree 0
The force is strong with this one.....
IndiRae 9
You deserve it for calling it a Star Wars sword.
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Comments (460)
LukeFree 0
The force is strong with this one.....
blitz426 0
it's called a lightsaber?
Jennifra 0
May the force be with you.
Brool_Story_Co 17
OP needs to get laid...
juicedboi 7
hmmm great pleasure I sense in you I do
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Meanwhile, in Mexico...
xDefendPopPunkx 14
Did you fantasize it was a tusken raider or an ewok? Personally, I prefer the gungans :)
predialien 1
Agreed brool_story
BADDiam 4
Kinky..
Iamnotmyself 17
I can only imagine her thought process when she first picked up the toy, "I have you now"
kevsnev 7
That's a line in the movie 17 Again.
Pixxio_O 11
Aren't those huge? Well that must've hurt...
Eaglestrike117 29
YDI. It's a ******* lightsaber.
Screwie 25
I really wonder if she cut herself because she thought it was just a toy. HAIL LIGHTSABERS.
burninnapalm 5
74, have you seen Most ******? I mean a toy lightsaber is actually a little smaller...
RedPillSucks 33
literally, since that's what she's using it for.
MerrikBarbarian 9
where the **** are you getting your ******? o-o a lightsaber is sword sized. I'm too lazy to grab one of mine right now but I'd estimate they are 2-3 feet long. even the huge ****** are rarely bigger then 1 foot long.
taarna77 6
I don't think they were talking about length, but most ****** are thicker than a lightsabe
mario1992 0
win!!!
shelbygordon44 7
May the force be with you.
tatababe 1
May the force be in you
pertained 12
Erm, I'm aware there is such a thing as online shopping.
enonymous 9
Well men have fleshlights only right for women to have lightsabers... But really...Anyone else hoping it makes the humming noise and the other noises...
emilyraenewman 13
More like may the force be in you...
kickass1142 7
Couldn't op use Hand Solo?
rottentomatoes 7
:)
MerrikBarbarian 9
depends on which lightsaber. the tip of a kids collapsable one is about the same diameter or maybe a bit thinner then the average ***** at the tip. the collectable ones are probably a bit thicker then a *****.... and I'm now pondering how much of a nerd I am to know this :p
narisemasonx 2
not if she had a bucket.
vIBC 0
Hahaha
Drigr 9
"Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!" is what op was saying
mylifesucks305 0
Omg lol!!'
iiNfAMoUs_KiiD 3
Soo was it the blue or red lightsaber ? ;) hahaha
juan01 0
Greatest comment ever :)
PopRocks14 0
Sorry, but wouldnt that hurt..?
lexigirl15 0
ahahaha! lmfao! :D
Cookie4U 0
The sarlacc pit
VenomIvy 0
Indeed it is...with this horny one
bignboy 0
With you*
SPONGEBObz 4
not as much as giving birth to a baby , which is way bigger than a lightsaber
Evan2297 0
***** go zoom zoom pew pew.
bugmenotmofo 34
Probably a stormtrooper.
crazyluvbug 8
I love it 236! I think you are hilarious and a big nerd! [8^B
caveadsum66 0
I knew someone wud say tht!!
Proughboy 7
Haha imagine a motor boat from Boss Nass
JokersHQ 21
#1) it's a light saber #2) order it online. It's not that big of a deal anyway and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
flagg1888 3
well a woman has to make do with the tools at hand
fsaskid 0
Was it a Darth Maul double ender?!
livlafluv100 2
well, you saved money right?
natskie 7
why do you assume it's a woman? lol
nerdfighteria 7
59- I don't know, maybe because of the symbol in the corner, or maybe because men don't usually stick things in their vaginas.
Brool_Story_Co 17
67- What are you talking about, guys put stuff in their vaginas all the time
ktateprado 0
I'm a guy, and something is in my ****** right now. It's my ****.
Brool_Story_Co 17
Why **** that shit out man?
ktateprado 0
Because I'm stoopid. I'm very stoopid.
hellbilly205 17
Why didnt you buy it offline?
awsm44 0
My question is who's lightsaber is it? And does she plan on giving it back to them??
alissa222 15
Or hand period.
NoodleBurger 0
I used a crest spin brush with the head off for years. a-MAZING!
holygodthatshars 0
You mean "online"?
MasonR12 4
you mean buy stuff online not offline....
AwesomeNinjaGame 0
Umm men stick things up their bums don't they..? Why do u assume it went into a vag..
bugmenotmofo 34
@59: Because it says so?
JustDannyG 0
Did it hurt so good?
whippymcdumb4zs 0
Cmon baby make it hurt so good
silver0jay 11
Then your little brother walks in, "There's my light saber! ....whys it so wet?"
themaddog 0
I bet chewbacca liked that.
Mz_Kane 0
Lmfao
IndiRae 9
You deserve it for calling it a Star Wars sword.
zebraface 15
Exactly.
00Lily00 0
Agreed, it's obviously a light saber
IndiRae 9
My apologies, meant for 43.
inkblotdrummer 6
that's the first thing I thought
zinoxity 23
That's my fetish. Lol, jk.
hahalaughing 0
ohhh my god get a life
sexy_geek 5
Clearly a saber
ariannaa_fml 17
4- you forgot the word toy
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Star Wars is life
stoutn 2
YDI for calling it a toy sword. It's a lightsaber!!
xXwolflegionXx 8
That's what the person above you just said. Read before commenting.
MizzErikaHart 8
Yea but like 1 minute apart...
promarkchris 6
proper grammar wolflegion hero of everything
waschaffer 5
you deserve to have the ******* toy sword shoved up ur ass
iammoney 0
5 - ur a dumbass u seem like one of them nerdy freaks that love starwars so much they have never seen the real world
birdmanjr 1
227- u seem like a bitch who thinks anyone who isn't "perfect like you" should be hated.
vampirekisses91 0
246- agreed
NostalgiaFreak9 43
227 If you make fun of people solely based on them liking a movie series, you need to grow the hell up.
shepaintsmusic 6
LIES! There is no such thing as a star war sword. This FML is so totally made up.
mierz 6
Did it make the sound too
unfortunate_13 5
what if she has nosy parents?
_Oblivion_ 12
wut if she moved out
starsfan_9 7
did OP make it light up and have it make deporting sounds with every thrust?
skarlly 10
Thats what I thought
sweetheartxoxo88 7
Well she's obviously an adult because you're not allowed to make a purchase at a "toy store" unless you're 18. (in person and online)
DeathBunny218 37
if you're ashamed of being seen buying it just buy one online
xk75 4
I thought this too but if the op is a teen she may not have a credit card or checking account/debit card.....
Wheredidgrungego 12
And even if she is a teen with a credit card like I am, I'm sure her parents would wonder what she was ordering from ******.com.
kportal69 5
If she was a teen meaning under 18 then she wouldn't be able to go into a store. She's talking about being ashamed sooooo I would say she's old enough just embarrassed.
Chibipanda 1
Um...That's Gross :|
maryjayy3 0
Yeah just a little bit
CryMoreFMLs 15
I think it's hot. But thats my opinion... The opinion of an insane man.
lalalovebiancaa 0
Wooow, #icanteven
IndiRae 9
Wow #thisisnttwitter
waswashere 0
At least they didn't #dothis on Facebook. #dumbasses
Rednomad 5
Ah, but, then anybody can post this on facebook.