Anonymous
Mexico 🌶️ Spicy
Use the force
Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Nottingham, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Get it where you can
Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML
padmelover
He knows the price of everything and the value of nothing
Today, my dad said I need to stop playing with toys and threw my lightsaber out of the window. It was a replica of the Lightsaber used by Mark Hamill, made from the same type handle from a 1970s camera, just like the film prop. It was over 40 years-old and worth thousands. Not anymore, as it's now scratched and in two pieces. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
One size fits all
Today, I bought an electric sex toy to make masturbating more interesting. My penis wasn’t long enough to reach the moving massaging parts on the inside, and just pathetically rested a few inches inside the opening. I could call it a bad design but I’d be lying, I just have a small dick. FML
TeeJay
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
Taylor
United States 🌶️ Spicy
War drums
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML
lopez
France 🌶️ Spicy
I think we're alone now
Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden, I heard a familiar voice, saying, "At least someone's having fun…" It was my boss. FML
rastafarimon
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML
a
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
Average Lover
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
Top comments
LukeFree 0
The force is strong with this one.....
IndiRae 9
You deserve it for calling it a Star Wars sword.
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Comments (460)
mmmonique 6
hahaha this is hilarious! but seriously, sex shops aren't actually that scary! just do it! or buy online?
matty198496 0
Really they r not scary
blackspectrum69 0
This chick knows what she is talking about
mmmonique 6
well I have been to a sex shop before, it's just like any other shop!
jamanactive3 5
Lol she is a freak
jessesgirl14 16
What the hell are you thinking?!?! If you're hard up for a toy use a cucumber or something....
IndiRae 9
That's on 1000 ways to die, or whatever that show is. I'm sure sending a lightsaber into your darkside will be up there too, soon enough.
hazardoussmiles9 22
Or a hotdog! I've heard of people using those...
Wheredidgrungego 12
My ex said that those detachable shower heads put on full blast is supposed to feel good.
ArielTheMermaid 17
16-the woman choked on the cucumber while 'practicing'
iphonegirl_fml 0
was reading ur profile & was thinking of the manwhorism disease ._.
jessesgirl14 16
77- yes a shower-head is aahh-mazing!
bullrider92 19
I caught my sister using a sausage,lol.
kaykay20 0
You missed the one where the women tried making a carrot smooth to use as a sex toy and it end up cutting her and eventually killing her from blood loss. So don't use vegetables or any other everyday object (like a broom) for sexual play it can kill you whether it's cause of the object itself or cause of a germ it given you from being in contact with such a sensitive area. Best to stick with a toy that's cleaned with mild soap and water. By the way pay attention to what the toys are made of if your allergic to anything.
sexy_geek 5
Yup!
SammyS2012 21
The carrot didn't kill her from blood loss. It cut her, and then when she continues to thrust, it pushed air into her bloodstream that went to her heart and killed her.
kings1fan 6
210 what a party pooper!
shadexilmaendu 4
Depending on the water pressure a detachable showerhead can be a powerful tool. I had one once that was almost comparable to the hitachi wand. o.o see op? No need to be embarrassed; we all enjoy a good fap. :p
OneBigMessUp 5
You shouldn't be ashamed of something like that. You should just order one online!:)
WIZchild 0
Did u?
BrettJ 0
How would you know?
zachherbert 10
Your fifteen, how many sex shops have you been too? And how many ****** do you own?
a_lenzmeier 11
You will make some star wars nerd very happy someday.
Maybelline008 10
Not by calling it a sword!
jjennyjunior 0
buy one online
Superflykid 5
You should of gotten a Pokemon toy :P
tfair85 2
Um, the OP is female. Plus, I see no reason from the comments for you to question it. Also, why didn't this go on the comment I clicked on?
TheNewGuy03 29
Or she can take the next step and get a Power Glove. Oh boy...
RedPillSucks 33
squirtle?
blackspectrum69 0
If I were a girl, I'd probably use Sudowudo
lokrar789 7
Were 2 death stars attached to the end of it?
kitkatknicknack 12
What's up with men and masturbation?!
BADDiam 4
Op is a female,who put a saber in their unless they're gay...
ohmygaaawsh29 0
it's a woman..
BigMacBoi 3
What's up with you and not masturbaiting?
assassin121212 2
76- thats wat I said
dragonforerunner 2
Cute, not too bright.
duckman9 55
whats up with you outside of the kitchen?
RyNo24 4
This is why girls are lucky, guys only have a hand to work with...
vDisaster 2
Fakes vaginas nukka
thewife5 19
There are plenty of toys for guys
newmandotcom 6
Actually, it's called a lightsaber...