Use the force
Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML
Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML
Today, my dad said I need to stop playing with toys and threw my lightsaber out of the window. It was a replica of the Lightsaber used by Mark Hamill, made from the same type handle from a 1970s camera, just like the film prop. It was over 40 years-old and worth thousands. Not anymore, as it's now scratched and in two pieces. FML
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
Today, I bought an electric sex toy to make masturbating more interesting. My penis wasn’t long enough to reach the moving massaging parts on the inside, and just pathetically rested a few inches inside the opening. I could call it a bad design but I’d be lying, I just have a small dick. FML
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML
Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden, I heard a familiar voice, saying, "At least someone's having fun…" It was my boss. FML
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
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Top comments
LukeFree 0
The force is strong with this one.....
IndiRae 9
You deserve it for calling it a Star Wars sword.
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Comments (460)
yzf250rider88 2
I hope you turned the light on and hit the button every so often to make the light saber noise! Haha
Channing0806 7
That's some bad ass grammar you is taught. My fault. This was suppose to be towards 58.
wadedust 0
That's kinda hot! But hey Star Wars is duh shit! Lol
Glambert_lover 5
This is why the internet were created.
llZombiell 5
If you don't want to go to a shop to buy one then order one online.
BighornB 0
Make you cum the lightsaber has ~ Yoda
jbong 0
May the force be in youu
j_cat187 20
Do u turn it on and have it make that lightsaber sound?
Deathhound 27
Like so many said: Internet. Poor Sword though.
mea_iloveskiing 26
Now you'll get pregnant and the lightsaber will tell your kid: I'm your father :D
spacemonkey420 0
no Rhys not true!!!
holly_fly 34
I hope she names the kid luke...
spacemonkey420 0
I wonder what you would think If some kid picked it up and put it in their mouth